March 5, 2009
What About the Three Positions in Communication (part one)
Be Flexible
In Neuro Linguistic Programming it is stated that the individual with the most flexibility controls the system. When we realize that we are all distorting, deleting and generalizing our reality, according to our filters developed through our past experience, we begin to understand that none of us see reality.
We experience our individual definition of reality but not actual reality. The more we can train our selves to think outside our box of our perceptions, the more we will experience flexibility and freedom. I know the greatest pain I’ve ever been in is when I have felt that I’ve been backed up into a corner with an illusion of no choices, a prisoner of my own feeling and my own thought patterns.
By taking three perceptual positions with a relationship we add tremendous insight to our preferred system of defining reality and we broaden and enrich our ability to perceive another with compassion and understanding.
These three positions are:
1st Position = From my own point of view looking at the relationship.
Second Position = Imagining myself within the other the person looking out of their two eyes having their past history viewing myself.
Third position = Imagining myself in a third neutral position viewing the relationship from a position of objectivity .
When we step outside of our own box of perception we give birth to compassionate and responsible communication.
When we realize we all come from different sets of experiences each molding our child’s mind to give meaning to our environments and relationships. None of us have done it wrong. Many of our issues or seeming problems are our reaction to a lack of love and an adaptation to loss. Our wounds play themselves out in our adult relationships until we take the responsibility to begin to shift our nervous system from how the past was held within us neurologically.
The events which have molded us happened once. They are no longer here. Yet our nervous system holds these memories alive and well within our memories. Our memories are one of our primary filters through which information must pass in order for our minds to make sense of the stimulus bring received through our senses. The more the memories are loaded with unresolved negative emotions, the greater the distortion of our current reality will be. Our past will continue to repeat itself in the form of a constant set of habitual emotions we live within. This is where apathy is born. We are not meant to live in an emotional state of being so overwhelmed by our feeling that the only way we can live through the intensity of what we feel, is suppressing our emotions until eventually we feel nothing and we become numb. We are meant to be fully expressed and alive, fulfilling our individual life missions and creating contributions to families, friends and our world in general.
Our memories constitute a wide variety of pictures, sounds and feelings, which our nervous system has the ability to store and retrieve. If we are going to make changes to our behavior we must make changes to how our emotional packed memories are represented.
The science of NLP provides a variety of systems to reprint memories and decode our nervous system so our memories which have negative emotions attached to them can become neutral.
(come back tomorrow for part two)
Love & Light
Gary De Rodriguez