The Person Who Has The Most Flexibility Becomes The Most Contributing
Listen and You Shall Hear
One of the key beliefs of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology is the person who has the most flexibility becomes the most contributing and free person with the systems in which they belong.
We all belong to a family system that comprises a variety of different relationships, each with their unique perspectives, problems, strengths and weaknesses. Each one of us has developed complex-beliefs, values and strategies to adapt to the appearance of the loss of love.
As we mature, we begin to realize that the foundation of our subconscious patterning may not serve our mastering of achieving peace and success. Instead, it becomes the search for answers, mentors and information to help lead us through the forest of our perceptions and into the clearing of our options and choices. Here are some perspectives to help us get to the clearing sooner, rather than later.
A mighty law of life is the requirement to become masterful in our relationships. This is where the rubber hits the road between what we have studied, and hold as beliefs and truisms, and what has actually been integrated inside us as our identity.
When we are able to demonstrate congruency between what we believe and what our actions actually are, we strengthen our identity and raise our self esteem. This, also, allows us to resonate out into the complex, unseen universe of causation a field of “I am worthy.” This field permits us to draw, like a magnet, the opportunities that support our every dream.
The art of causation is based upon various laws, other than the law of attraction, and must be honored to obtain consistent results and a sense of mastery over the unpredictability of life.
Here is a key principle: Only commit to what you know you can keep your word to; and keep your word no matter what!
As you strengthen your worthiness through the laboratory of your relationships, hold to this one rule so you can increase your compassion for others and develop the muscle of your growing flexibility and congruency.
Realize that each person behaves out of a different set of beliefs, memories, values and collection of experiences that act as their map of reality. Another’s reality will be forever different than our own. We have to master the art of flexibility to our perception and find curiosity in what happened during another’s experience to cause the molding of their beliefs. Once we master this art, we can honor the other person’s perspective and offer more genuine conversations and relationships.
The success driven individual realizes that to create the success they deserve, one must honor another’s perspective and have the courage to hold authentic conversations filled with artful questions that are filled with respect.
Conversations filled with the positioning of who is right and who is wrong, or armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships, stress and fractured families, organizations and teams.
Each of our realities are just as valid as any other person’s, so we should enter our dialogues with the primary intent to clarify, understand, enrich and empower our relationships with appropriate boundaries for ourselves.
Here are some strategies for holding conversations that work, build relationships, congruency and respect while avoiding the pitfalls that are common when two people are seeing through different colored lenses.
Be mindful of the following:
When you enter into a difficult conversation, begin the dialogue with an established outcome for the discussion.
Questions to ask:
What is your outcome for our conversation?
What do you need to feel like we both are honored?
What would be your highest choice for this situation?
Foundational Principles:
Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify, enrich and empower.
Be accountable for your part of the situation.
Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you do have a choice.
Be fully and completely present with the other person.
Here are some great questions to begin the conversation:
What choices can we co-create?
- What is our outcome for this conversation? What do we desire to have an awareness of, breakthrough in or resolution with?
- What do you require to know from me to give you clarity?
- What do you and I need to do to create a resolution?
- What information from me do you need to feel safe?
Many times in relationships, we hold in silence those conversations that seem too difficult to have. This act of silence results in the growing resentment toward the other person for our own lack of courage to be authentic. We will, generally, blame the other person for how bad we feel and our emotional contraction will lessen our sense of self respect and self worth.
This is how relationships fail both personally and professionally. The heart of the relationship is the conversation. The success of that conversation is based upon our courage to step up with our intention to empower and clarify. When we engage in our relationships from this foundation, we strengthen our self worth and empower ourselves to attract the opportunities that we deserve.
Love & Light
