Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

We have all grown into the identities we are, in the emotional pool of our ancestors.  Our parents within the environment of their parents and their parents within theirs, down through the generations until the family triumphs and tragedies come to a still point in our life expression.  The question is: do we continue the legacy of our ancestors through our actions, beliefs and valves or do we cull those inherited beliefs and values so we can turn our past into our greatest ally.  

This book is written to awaken the curiosity of the reader to a larger picture.  A spiritual perceptive of family, life purpose ,grace, order and share practical useable TOOLS to shift our personal tragedies to our greatest triumphs and create a life of personal fulfillment and contribution. 

Contained within these pages are TOOLS which work. 

As a man thinketh so he becomes”

 

Here is my journey of discovering the secret message of my family system and it’s spiritual significance for my the evolution of my heart and soul.

 My search for answers to the pain of how to emotional cope as a young adult and become a self responsible member of society was overwhelming to me as a young man.  I began the use of drugs at a young age of 14 and progressed from wine and marijuana to intervenes drug use by 16. 

Many people wonder why individuals fall into drug or alcohol addiction. I can only speak for myself.  It was the pain I carried about what had happened in my family.

The lack of, loss of and betrayal of love that I had witnessed. The insanity, drug and alcohol use I was subjected to and standing witness to what once was love between my parents turn into this dark expression of violence, hatred, attempted murder, suicide attempts and betrayal.

My mother grew more and more desperate, afraid and unbalanced as I matured.  She had built her identity on being a mother and wife.  As my father retired from the navy and began college my mother became more threatened by his distance and expansion and the drinking began.  Her role as a mother was simultaneously changing as my brother and myself were maturing. 

The damage her fear of the loss of love caused within the family was complete and devastating.

I spent many years of my youth in clinical shock from the behaviors of my mothers overwhelming fear she was losing the only thing that ever loved her, her family.

I witnessed how the lack of love and compassion can drive a person to madness.

The role I took was to become my mothers best friend and psychotherapist at the age of eleven.

My way of surviving the lack of love was to do my best to balance what I saw to missing. The conversation, the reassurance and time.  This dynamic continued in the house until I entered high-school and my parents divorced, and continued in my personal relationship with my mother until her death.

 

The purpose for my drug use was to break me free from the fear, anger and deep sadness. I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation and give me any other experience than the ones I had been experiencing in my family.

My drugs of choice were crystal methamphetamine, LSD  and opium.  I moved to Hollywood as soon as I graduated from High school with two female friends.  We were going to make a life in L.A. One of my friends developed a very expensive heroin habit of a couple thousand dollars a day while I was heading for a emotional breakdown at the tender age of 17.  Through the drug use and fear, I eventually fell apart. 

My Father saved me.  He let me move back to San Diego to begin junior college.  He gave me a car and a very inexpensive place to live to begin my life new.  The depression at this part of my life was so severe that I would wake up in my furniture less apartment, walk down stairs, lay on the carpet and stare out the windows watching the clouds roll by until night fall.  When the sun set and I was laying in darkness, I would then get up, go back upstairs and fall asleep to begin the same cycle over again the next day.  I lived off food stamps and ate fruit from a orange tree and apricot tree in the back yard of the in-law apartment I was living in. My fear was overwhelming. People terrified me and I felt I did not have the ability to even hold a conversation. Basically I couldn’t think any longer.  Through the use of drugs, especially crystal, I had lost the ability to formulate a logical process of thought.  My greatest fear was, I had damaged myself to such a extent, that I would be unable to take care of myself and therefore how would I survive.  At this time I began to seek spirituality. 

It took another year of being lost in drugs before the night would come which would wake me up.  It was during this period I began to have spiritual experiences.  I have been given several throughout my life which have metamorphosed the way I view and experience my world.

The first such experience happened in a concert.  My girlfriend at the time had purchased front row tickets to a Donovan concert.  I was smoking three packs of Marlboro longs a day and still using intravenous drugs.  I was becoming very addicted to the ceremony of shooting-up drugs. If I was out of drugs I would shoot-up warm sugar water for a rush and the ritual of a needle in my arm. At the time I had access to a very fine grade of opium which was just one grade shy of heroin.  This had become my drug of choice.  I had chosen to be drug free for the concert because Donovan was more about spirituality and meditation than the most of the concerts I had attended. 

As I waited for the concert to begin I had no clue that this was the night I would make one of the greatest changes of my life.  When Donovan emerged from backstage he sat down in a sea of flowers and began turning up his Sitar.  Remember this was 1970.  As He was preparing to start the concert, He stopped and looked at me for a moment.  He then pointed to me and said “You are wasting time” A very simple phase , which hit me like a lightening bolt.  I knew what this meant to the very depths of my bones and through every cell of my body.  I knew my life was destined to do something beyond what I had seen demonstrated within my family.  I simple didn’t know how or what.  I had felt up to this point of my life that my life was immobile, stagnate and full of fear about all the things I wasn’t, a helpless victim of my past.

 In that moment I woke up to a degree.  I sat there transfixed upon his words, my body rushing with energy and knew it was time to change my life.

Have you ever felt something big coming?

Similar to a storm and you didn’t quite know who you would be after the storm of if you would survive.

As the anxiety began to fill my body I knew in that moment I could no longer continue smoking my three packs of cigarettes a day and shooting drugs into my veins, I would die following this course of behavior.  I knew I had the willingness to change my life but the anxiety would not lessen.

I realized the fear wasn’t so much about giving up my addictions as it was about who would I be after all the crutches were released. I had developed a certain persona with a group of friends that have become my identity.  Who would I become without all the props of my past, my story, my friends and the things we valued.

In that moment I felt all the aspects of my personality shifting within me in a hurricane of change.

As I continued my internal metamorphosis Donovan began his concert.  By the end of the concert I had thrown away my cigarettes and ended my drug use.

When I returned home that night my internal world continued the integration until the next morning.

As I entered my house I went to the secret place I hide my drugs and my outfit of needles and syringes and bandages and flushed the remaining opium down the toilet, broke all my needles and syringes and went for a walk.

It was one of those rare southern Californian nights where we were experiencing rain.  I placed a coat on my shoulders and walked and walked until I couldn’t walk any longer with this Donovan’s voice in my heart and head saying you are wasting time, you are wasting time.

 

Somewhere within my ancient memory resonated a knowingness, a urgency to begin the Path to potentialize whoever I could be into that man of possibility.

I spent the rest of the evening on a hillside in the rain sobbing into my hands from the release of my addictions and the overwhelming fear of HOW I would create the change I knew had to occur.

 My life began again that night on that rain soaked canyon hillside over looking Mission Bay in San Diego.

I knew my life would have to be spiritually focused and create a contribution to others.  The only road to fulfillment I knew was how can I extend myself to others in a meaningful way and make a difference.

I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation, my story of what had happened to me, my false sense of self.  I abandoned ALL my friendships and my dog became my only companion.

I required to create structure in my life from the chaos of emotions and thoughts that pervade a drug induced mind and body.     

I began seeking for a spiritual path that resonated with me.  I sought in the Christian traditions although beautiful, felt off center for me in this crucial junction of my life.

I explored Buddhism and knew I required more structure.

The Transcendental Meditation movement was very strong at this point in history and I was attracted to the discipline of the path and began to pursue initiation.

One night a friend informed me he knew of a drummer who followed a Living Master and meditated in the yoga of the Sound Current and was playing in a group down at a bar in Mission Beach. 

I had never heard of this Path of meditation before and curious I went to the club late the next night.

Having just turned eighteen I was unable to get in but waited in the parking lot at the back door till 2:00pm in the morning waiting for the bar to close.

Willie was his name, a physically short, long haired man with a glit in his eye came through the door.  As the garbage fumes from the alley way drifted through the air I said:

 ”hello, my name is Gary and I’ve been waiting for you to talk to you about the Master”

 

Willie was very cautious at first to verify I wasn’t some drugged up kid who thought it was cool to pretend spirituality.

After we spoke for about ½ hour he committed to loan a book which I had three days to return to him.

The next night I returned to the parking lot behind the bar and waited for Willie to emerge from the backdoor.

Willie walked through the door into to the parking lot to meet me with the book in hand.

As he handed me the book entitled  “Path of the Masters” he said in a low serious tone. ” this will be the most important book you will ever read.”

I devoured the book and knew as soon as the book was placed in my hands that this was the Path that would offer me the structure and discipline I required.

 

I jumped in.  I began reading as many books on the Yoga of the Sound Current and began an uninitiated meditational practice, turned vegetarian and celibate and devoted myself to turning my life into more than it had been in my previous life of drugs and victimization.

 

I went to my first Satsang or meeting of disciplines with mixed feelings.  It felt a bit like church and there was no one my age and certainly not from my background.  I felt out of place and awkward but forced myself to keep going back because these strangers were my only social contact I would allow myself at this point.

After about three months of meetings it was announced that the Master was taking a rare trip out of India and coming to America and Canada.

I had the opportunity to travel and follow the Masters tour from San Francisco to Los Angeles and in time was initiated into the Yoga of the Sound Current.

(More tomorrow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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So imagine now that we’re in the projection room and we’re going to watch the film of your life, the film from conception until now.  It will take approximately 5 minutes to watch this film.  The curtains are beginning to open on the screen and the one, that part of you that controls things, it begins to flip on the switch of the camera and your film begins to roll from conception to now.  Start your films.  Review your life as it happened from conception or birth to now.  Start your films please.  Do that now and let them roll. 

 

Now being in now, we’re going to run the movie backwards.  All the characters, all the internal representations of this film is going to run backwards.  All the characters will be speaking backwards.  All the sounds will be backwards, all the characters will be walking backwards.  You will place Mickey Mouse ears on each one of them and a ballerina skirt on each one of them.  Also coupled with this you will put an elephant’s trunk on the faces of every character in this film.  Are you ready?  Start the movie from now, run it backwards to birth and conception.  Do it now.   Coming to a close of your movie, bringing it to the very beginning of your time.  Now imagine in the editing room as we’re reviewing your film there’s a very large white paint brush that is filled endlessly with white-out.  I’m going to ask you to run your film, because I think we can make a better one.  What do you think?  We’re going to run your film and we’re going to white out all the frames of the film, preserving all the positive learnings from the entire span of time.  Are you ready to change things?  Begin now.  Turn the film on.  White paint brush on the film and start whiting out every single frame.  Fast forwarding to now.  Do that now.

 

Coming up on now.  Frames whited out.  Reach now in the next five seconds.  Good.  With the same white out, same brush, rewind the film, making sure all of the frames are whited out.  Begin to rewind the film, whiting out and putting another coat on all the frames of the past.  Rewind it now at high speed.  Do that now until it’s completely white.

 

So as you stand at the beginning of the possibility to reimagine the characters, the pictures, sounds and feelings, creating a new sound track, creating new characters in bright, vivid color, in the color of your circle, in the color of your circle of excellence and oneness.  We are going to place the qualities of that circle of oneness and we’re going to create new characters of your past where all of the characters are behaving and acting out of their circle of oneness with the heart, the compassion, the connection and the love of the essence of who they have eternally been.  All characters will be performing out of their circle of oneness.  And your new film will take on the color of your circle of oneness.  Create this new film in bright vivid color with every character acting out of their highest connection to whatever is divine in life.  When you’re ready on the count of three you will begin your new film based in the color and the qualities of your circle of oneness.  One, two, and three.  Begin reimagining your life now.   Now rewind your film at high speed back to the beginning.  Do it now.  On the count of 5 we’ll be at the beginning again.  One, two, three, four and five.  Back at the beginning. 

 

Now we’re going to run your film through again.  This time we’re adding Steven Spielberg special effects, the highest quality of special effects.  Thx sound.  Make it three dimentional.  Make wind blowing.  Make symphonies playing.  You are just going to enhance these pictures so vividly, so powerfully with so much emotion into every single aspect of this film.  When you are ready, run the film through again and put in the most amazing colors in the color of your circle of oneness and each character acting out of the script of following their circle of oneness.  Run the film again please.  Enhance every frame.  More powerful.  More loving.  More kind. 

 

Now that we’ve created new internal representations of your past, let’s bring this process to a gentle close and begin coming back into the room.

 

Now why and how does this process actually work?  The only way you know that you’re you is by the pictures, sounds and feelings in your head.  That’s it!  You’ve got eye patterns that retrieve your memories and go, ‘remember – this is who you are.’  What if your eye patterns retrieve memories where all you saw was your circle of oneness flowing through every single memory of your past?  If you imagine vividly enough your past your subconscious mind and nervous system does not know the difference between what actually happened and what you reimagined.  Get that.  It is so important.  If you consistently go to sleep at night or think during the day vivid imagination about a circumstance that happened in the past and you reimagine it to the place to where you feel it to be real – and the key word is feel it – with more powerful sensory representations, different pictures, different sounds, different feelings, what will happen is that will become your reality.  You will become the artist or the architect of your past as well as your future because your past influences and directs your future.  And you can build it.  We can literally collapse time and make everything right now in this thought – what is my outcome.  And the really wonderful aspect of what I just said is that you already do it every moment of every day.  The difference is you’ve been imagining events in the future based upon the experiences of your past and therefore your past keeps recreating itself in front of you.  What if you spend your time on the obsession of the story of how it’s been and yet the way it’s been has been the exact circumstances to evolve you and what if you spend your life blaming, regretting and condemning the teachers who have shown up to show you the way?  What if it all happened to show you a way?  Be the love you are.  Keep in the story of your outcome.  Create different internal representations by imagining vividly enough to where you feel it.  Different pictures, different sounds, different dialogs, different feelings.

{Join me tomorrow for more on this}

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