Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

Look Within

 

 

 

Creating Abundance Through Conversation

Our success or failure is determined by our ability to maintain and strengthen our relationships. Our ability to hold conversations with the intention of enrichment and understanding is at the heart of our relationship success. And relationship success governs our prosperity and happiness.

A key tenet of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) is that the person with the most flexibility becomes the most contributing person to the system in which they belong. When we realize that each person functions from a different set of beliefs, memories, values, and experiences (and therefore drawing their map of reality differently than our own), we must honor the fact that people are looking through different lenses and creating different realities.

Conversations filled with positioning of who is right or wrong or with armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships and fractured families, organizations and teams. The success destined individual, however, knows that by mastering flexibility of perception, she can more authentically honor the unique perspectives of those around her. She can comfortably hold authentic conversations filled with skillful and artful questions. This skill is the cornerstone of continued success in life.

Each of our realities is just as valid as any other person’s, so we require to learn and master the art of flexibility. We require to learn how to enter conversations with the primary intent to understand and empower our relationships while maintaining appropriate boundaries for ourselves. When we enter our conversations with this conscious intention, we can master the art of flexibility and increase our ability to hold authentic conversations, boosting our influence and increasing our own self esteem.

For example, what would your reality be like if you made a pact with yourself to simply stop talking ill of anyone? Try it. Find the highest thing you can say about one another and speak to that. Hold your highest thought for one another even if the other person’s behavior is disappointing to you. The results of this simple exercise are remarkable, remarkable both for you personally and for everyone you touch.

Principles of the Win-Win Conversation

Strengthen and leverage your relationships with these strategies for effective communication.

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify and enrich.
3. Also enter with the intention to empower yourself and the other person equally.
4. Authentically desire a win-win from the conversation.
5. Be accountable for your part in the situation.
6. Be fully and completely present with the other person.
7. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

Perspective Shifting and Finding the Harmony

Ask yourself these questions to establish the intention and outcome for any conversation and steer yourself away from pitfalls that are most commonly entered when two people are seeing through two different lenses.

1. What am I not seeing?
2. Where is my attention?
3. Where am I not being realistic?
4. What could be the positive intention of the other person?
5. How could I look at this differently?
6. How many different perspectives can I take to give me clarity?
7. What is present when I’m at my best?
8. What part of the solution am I?
9. Where might I be in denial?
10. What am I afraid of here, and is it real?
11. What are my false assumptions?
12. Who am I when I speak and act from my heart?
13. What changes will I affect when I show up as who I really am?
14. What is it to be a leader?
15. What am I grateful for in this situation?
16. What is the one thing that I require to say to bring resolution?
17. What am I teaching myself in this situation?

We require to utilize all of the skills available to us such as strong coaching questions, accountable perception, positive intention, and the ability to create rapport at the subconscious level.

By creating this type of environment of safety and trust, we can sustain our happiness and be a light to those who surround us.

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A Lesson in the Power of Language

The three pillars of Neuro-Linguistic Programming are (1) language, (2) imagination and (3) emotion. In this piece I want to talk about language and how it works to shape our lives. While imagination and emotion are often discussed esoterically, language is this tangible thing that is acting upon us and coming from us all of the time. It shapes our culture and forms the foundation of our relationships with one another and, more importantly, with ourselves.

Yet, how often have you taken the power of language for granted? Like the oxygen we breathe, we rarely give it a second thought until something painful happens to make us reconsider our actions, our words, the messages we have put out to the universe.

Language is the tool that directs our thinking, and whatever you are thinking about-whatever your mind is focused on-will determine your success or your failure. How many times though have you said to yourself “I am going to change my thinking,” but all you did was try to change your thinking?(!) This is an exercise in futility. The easiest way to change how you think is to change your language, both internally and externally.

If you continuously language your communications to align with your personal vision of success and abundance, you are, in effect, directing your subconscious mind toward that goal. The same is true of your negative thoughts. If you are constantly expecting the worst, talking about your fears, imagining the future cloaked in possible failure, you will draw those experiences toward you.

We employ just 10% of our mental capacity while the other 90% lies dormant at the subconscious level. What would our lives be like if we learned how to program the infinite capacity of our minds toward our goals and outcomes?

Here are some little known facts about the subconscious mind:

• Your subconscious mind is programmed by your conscious mind, but often it is power without direction.
• Your subconscious mind takes language literally and personally. Language is one of the most important ways we program this power within us.
• That which we dwell on, feel to be real, and language accordingly, are the principal programming agents that guide our lives’ successes and failures.
• We have CHOICE. We are in charge of our minds and therefore our results. We have all the abilities and resources we require to succeed in life.

 What we require to accomplish is the study of how to awaken and direct our subconscious minds toward our goals. Language is a bridge to this awakening.

The subject on which you are dwelling is the temple at which you pray. Either the God of your negative thought forms or the God of your positive thought forms will answer. Your present day reality is a culmination of answers to your past thoughts. You have brought those answers into manifestation by what you consistently dwelt upon and “languaged” to be real. Because of the delay of time, you have forgotten what you called into being and thus created for yourself.

How will you recreate your tomorrows using the Power of Language?

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When we use language like the transformational choices it puts us into the place where we actually shackle the legs of our camels linguistically.  We’re taking our personal power linguistically and saying this is where we’re going.  Rewrite your present reality. Write in transformational language and create your outcome with specific language in one paragraph.  And then I’m going to ask you to write it in two lines.  What you’re going to do is take that big long story and you’re going to write an I am statement toward where you’re choosing to move your life in this particular issue of your life and you’re going to rewrite it, outcome oriented, first person accountable, in conscious language, devoid of language of self-sabotage, deletion, distortion, generalization, negation and disempowerment.  If you require to add specificity you’ll have more sentences – like dates and all of that.  If you’ve been confused then you’re choosing clarity.  If you’ve been lonely and you’re choosing a partnership, define it, put it on a time line, speak toward.

 

I have confidence in my creative ability.  I receive the gift of my father’s life.  I have the power to create now.

 

Give him a hand!  What if every word that came out of your mouth was like what you’re rewriting now?  What would it be like?  You would speak less, is that true?  But when you spoke….laser!

 

I remember when I was very young I got married.  What impressed me so much about her was that she spoke very little but when she spoke …..  We’d be in this huge group of people and she would just sit there silently, not saying anything, but when she spoke it was like an earthquake because what came out of her mouth was so laserly the truth from her heart.  As soon as that happened I thought, I am completely in love with this woman.  What she spoke was from her heart and it had such profound effects upon me.  Have you noticed how each of us are speaking?  Have you noticed how often want, need and try have been spoken?  Our culture has been based upon lack and scarcity and victim archetype.  Take the words want, need, try and I don’t know out of your vocabulary and you’ll be doing great.

 

I am free from worry and I use this freedom to create spiritual fulfillment, to double my income and to nurture my family.

 

How much – what does double mean to you?  Put in a figure. 

 

I am free from worry – you just went into your story and you told all of us that part of your time is spent in worry.  So what you get to do is say I claim my peace of mind and I use this freedom to create MY spiritual fulfillment and to double my income to $200,000 OR MORE a year and to nurture my wife, Dawn and my daughter, Caterina. 

 

Whenever someone is speaking in vagueness, it is consistently a form of fear, a fear of feeling the emotional body.  When we bring it in and we speak in ‘my’ we associate into the words.  You guys look at your statement and put in ‘my’ wherever you see the word ‘the.’

 

I am powerful, empowering and successful in my work at positive changes hypnosis, relationships with my family and create $300,000 or more in the year 2000.  And I am in a relationship and married a loving, empowering, infinitely wealthy, emotionally secure, accepting, fun, fun-loving, playful, young-thinking, brilliant, kind, exciting, active, charismatic, outgoing, compassionate, rational, creative, understanding, generous, very gorgeous, athletic, ever-evolving, family oriented, passionate, self accountable, sharing, honest single man.

 

Tell the world because when you speak it what happens is that you get to leave your story and step into the new way of being and perceiving. 

 

I am now open to see the love and acceptance of my mother and father.

 

This is a statement in the course of miracles it says, ‘All things present, past and to come are beautifully planned by one who unconditionally loves you.’ 

 

The things of the past – how much life energy have you spent in being a victim in your mind, running the internal blame dialog in your mind and living from the victim archetype of not being loved enough by mother or dad and how much time have you spent and energy wasted, your precious breaths incalculable in its value, on contemplating endlessly the story?  There are people who die who at their death bed are still repeating the story of what they did or did not get from their mother or their father, which got reflected into their adult relationships and then got projected onto their adult relationships.  So we have the opportunity to do something with our past which we will do tomorrow in a big way.

Join me in tomorrows Blog for more!

 

 

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