Interview with Gary (Light Connection Magazine)

Why do you say NLP is a science?

This information is not metaphysical mumbo jumbo or blind faith. It’s how the neurology works.  If you know how something works, you can do things to adjust it.  But if you don’t know how your own nervous system works, how you encode your reality, how your past influences you, how you program yourself, then there’s no way to really drive the vehicle of your life in the direction of your heart’s desire. People are floundering out in the world and creating immense suffering which is passed to their children for generation after generation.  Before you know it we have a complete world of dysfunctional people who are in intense pain who will die for the rightness of their illusions.  My vision is to unravel the stories of the past to awaken people to their fullest potential.

How are you different than other NLP Master Practitioners?

I’m different because I am 100% totally committed to changing people’s lives for the better. I desire to help people who, by their own example, can create a community of positive, resourceful, focused and successful people.  They can go out there and positively inspire their families, their friends, and who knows, maybe thousands and thousands of people that I’ll never see or touch.  All it takes is a small group of committed people to change the world.  And that’s the only thing that ever has.

It sounds like you’re putting a spiritual spin on it.

That’s true.  I really believe NLP is just a prop for me to talk about this creative force we call God.  Because above and beyond all of the technology that NLP teaches is another whole level of existence, which is our spiritual body, our spiritual essence, which is why we’re actually here.  But we cannot access those qualities inside of ourselves if our mind is filled with fear, unresolved negative emotions and the drama of our past. 

Until we can literally quiet that fear, we can’t access the truth about ourselves.  So my whole premise is to first give people the tools to quiet their minds so that the natural propensity to be who we are can rise to the surface.  Otherwise people will be in too much fear to be able to quiet themselves enough to do the spiritual work they came here to do. 

So for me everything I’m doing is about building the foundation, how to take people from “I know nothing” to “These are practical skills so I can have more options, so that I’m not totally locked in to my internal hell, and I can start making different choices about myself, my life and my world.”  Once they have that, there’s another whole level of teaching that has to happen. I know this because in my experience, I meditated for years and years, anticipating these huge spiritual awakenings.  I had minor ones, I had unique experiences that are paranormal, but the predominance of my meditation time was stuck in my head, rattling around my past and trying to quell the deep, deep emotions that were running my life. 

I tried for years and years to be this spiritual guy. I went to India; I studied with a guru.  I was meditating two and a half hours a day, from 3 to 5:30 EVERY morning for 15 years and you know what?  It was painful.  And I could not achieve the spiritual level I felt I should be reaching in the spiritual discipline I was involved in because my mind and emotions were completely out of control.

But the instruction I was given at the time was just “Keep meditating, brother.  Just keep meditating.  Use your mantras.”  And I’m like, “No!”  I’m in total agony about my mother, I’m in total agony about my father, and all these incest issues – I got all these repressed sexual feelings, I can’t cope with any of it.  Sitting for two and a half hours at 3 in the morning and falling asleep half the time is NOT going to resolve the issues!  It is about working at the level of the mind with the tools of the mind – that’s how you can awaken who you really are.  So until we can quiet our minds, we really can’t get to our hearts.  And that’s the whole reason I teach what I teach.

Do your teachings go beyond the basic NLP model?

The Master Practitioners at my Center and I teach a whole Life Design© process – that we can redesign our lives in alignment with a higher reason and a higher function.  But until we’re able to really do it and heal the voices of our past we won’t be able to progress

The more that we continue to dwell on things we can’t do or things from our past, the more we become entrenched in the negatives.  So the focus of our mind is really the definition of our heaven or hell.  And if 97% of the 60,000 thoughts we think a day are about our past, then all we’re doing in our future is simply recreating the structure of our past.

Life Design is literally the tool to quiet the voices of our past so we can wake up to the natural stillness and the natural spirituality that we all are.

Are some people turned off by your focus on spirituality?  Do they think you’re advocating a particular religious doctrine?

Spirituality is not about a denomination or a structure or methodology of practicing worship of God, whatever that is to you.  It could be anything – it could be the wind, it could be Buddha, it could be Mohammad, it could be Christ – it could be anything.  But it’s something bigger than our egos; something larger than the definition of our personality.  When we create a reference point that is   something larger than our ego and our personality, then we start to live at a higher frequency.

How do your Life Design teachings facilitate that?

Our personality is very much like a glass of milk.  When the milk is stirred, meaning when the mind is restless, we’re constantly, habitually thinking about the past.  We think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 97% of them are about the past.  We’re constantly thinking, dwelling, perceiving, interpreting our future through the lens of our past, so that all we really see is our reaction to our unhealed emotional issues from our past in our future, so we keep recreating it.  That’s like the milk being stirred. 

We’re constantly being reactivated neurologically — we’re reactivated by what we perceive through the five senses.  Everything we see, hear, touch, taste or smell, we’re filtering through what memories it evokes from our past. When we still that, when we still the unresolved negative emotions from our past experiences, we reinterpret the internal voices so they’re our cheering section for our success rather than a booing section for what we have as our perceived failures. 

We can turn that around and change that, systematically, scientifically and neurologically, through reimprinting our nervous system through the three principal learning channels of visual, auditory and kinesthetic.  When we do that with the assistance of NLP and Life Design training we still the milk.  When the milk becomes still, then the cream naturally rises to the surface, the richness of who we are naturally comes to the surface.  We don’t have to learn how to be loving or spiritual beings – we already are. It’s the restlessness and the endless jabbering of our minds and our egos, our defenses, our pasts and our distorted filters that cause us not to function from the essence of who we naturally are – which is love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

Strengthening Relationships

Look Within

Look Within

 

 

 

Creating Abundance Through Conversation

Our success or failure is determined by our ability to maintain and strengthen our relationships. Our ability to hold conversations with the intention of enrichment and understanding is at the heart of our relationship success. And relationship success governs our prosperity and happiness.

A key tenet of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) is that the person with the most flexibility becomes the most contributing person to the system in which they belong. When we realize that each person functions from a different set of beliefs, memories, values, and experiences (and therefore drawing their map of reality differently than our own), we must honor the fact that people are looking through different lenses and creating different realities.

Conversations filled with positioning of who is right or wrong or with armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships and fractured families, organizations and teams. The success destined individual, however, knows that by mastering flexibility of perception, she can more authentically honor the unique perspectives of those around her. She can comfortably hold authentic conversations filled with skillful and artful questions. This skill is the cornerstone of continued success in life.

Each of our realities is just as valid as any other person’s, so we require to learn and master the art of flexibility. We require to learn how to enter conversations with the primary intent to understand and empower our relationships while maintaining appropriate boundaries for ourselves. When we enter our conversations with this conscious intention, we can master the art of flexibility and increase our ability to hold authentic conversations, boosting our influence and increasing our own self esteem.

For example, what would your reality be like if you made a pact with yourself to simply stop talking ill of anyone? Try it. Find the highest thing you can say about one another and speak to that. Hold your highest thought for one another even if the other person’s behavior is disappointing to you. The results of this simple exercise are remarkable, remarkable both for you personally and for everyone you touch.

Principles of the Win-Win Conversation

Strengthen and leverage your relationships with these strategies for effective communication.

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify and enrich.
3. Also enter with the intention to empower yourself and the other person equally.
4. Authentically desire a win-win from the conversation.
5. Be accountable for your part in the situation.
6. Be fully and completely present with the other person.
7. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

Perspective Shifting and Finding the Harmony

Ask yourself these questions to establish the intention and outcome for any conversation and steer yourself away from pitfalls that are most commonly entered when two people are seeing through two different lenses.

1. What am I not seeing?
2. Where is my attention?
3. Where am I not being realistic?
4. What could be the positive intention of the other person?
5. How could I look at this differently?
6. How many different perspectives can I take to give me clarity?
7. What is present when I’m at my best?
8. What part of the solution am I?
9. Where might I be in denial?
10. What am I afraid of here, and is it real?
11. What are my false assumptions?
12. Who am I when I speak and act from my heart?
13. What changes will I affect when I show up as who I really am?
14. What is it to be a leader?
15. What am I grateful for in this situation?
16. What is the one thing that I require to say to bring resolution?
17. What am I teaching myself in this situation?

We require to utilize all of the skills available to us such as strong coaching questions, accountable perception, positive intention, and the ability to create rapport at the subconscious level.

By creating this type of environment of safety and trust, we can sustain our happiness and be a light to those who surround us.

Love & Light

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

Message from the Hopi Elders

 

Our wisdom matures through life's opportunities!

Our wisdom matures through life

Greeting!

 

I have shared the message to humanity from the  

 

Hopi Elders before, but I would like to expand upon the message from my perspective to give us clarity about our future and empower an attitude of flexibility in how we navigate through these times. 
I’ll begin by pulling certain lines from the letter and expanding on the meaning.

One of the opening lines is:  

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

This is the hour.  I have been saying for years that we require building the foundation of our inner world as the external world becomes less predictable.

The you, who you have always dreamed you would become, must emerge.  This is the hour for you to arrive back to yourself and let the wisdom you have gained throughout your life guide you.  These are the times where your learning’s and your life wisdoms are tested. 

Ask yourself:

1.     What am I really attached too?

2.     What is ultimately important to me?

 The thought I’d like to share with you is a message from the master in India I studied with.  He would say to us: “At the end of our lives we will be asked to separate from the one thing we are most attached to, our bodies.  Practice detachment while in the body and know you will take nothing of the illusion of this world to the other side.”  

We become more of what we think about most often.  Chose what you focus on and dwell upon regularly most carefully because within this choice, you will find yourself creating your heaven or your hell.  Be congruent in your thought word and action.

 The next paragraph I’ll share with you is another powerful statement by the elders:

“This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

See who is there with you and celebrate.”

 When the elders said: this could be a good time”  I know that  no matter what the circumstances we find ourselves in, we can chose our attitude as we navigate our way through the unpredictable.  Our attitude is the only thing we absolutely have control over.

The next statement is perhaps the most dramatic in the letter:

“There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.”

The river is the river of change and yes we are witnessing amazing change in every section of the globe from Obama being elected to the complete decline of the automotive industry as if overnight.  Things that seemed impossible are now possible and things that seemed solid are now fluid.  We cannot hold onto the shore or the things that we have always thought was solid because it is now changing very fast.  If we attempt to hold onto false values and hollow desires we will suffer greatly because this is an intense time of spiritual revolution.      

The next profound sentence from the elders:

“Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

  See who is there with you and celebrate.”

We require letting go of the shore, or what we have always thought was secure and stable and go to the middle of life’s experiences.  I believe going to the middle of the river simply means to go to the middle of your perception and judge neither good nor bad.  Be attached to whatever you consider sacred for you and strengthen your resolve to focus your mind there and KNOW the river has a destination. 

Either there is random chaos or perfect order and I choose to believe that there is perfect order.  As the elders say the river has a destination.  So the falling apart is a birth of what is to come and a dismantling of the dream we have all been living in. There has never been a birth without labor. The world is birthing forth something very new and the labor has begun.

See who is there with you and celebrate.” Be in community with others and know that you are known by the way you treat others. Chose joy in the middle of change and put a smile on your face, evaluating daily what is really important to you.  We are called upon to simplify, center, be in joy and pay it forward to others in our lives because the day of the lone wolf is over.  Be in community with others and gather likeminded people around you.

The last lines from this letter are the most impactful to me personally:

“Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.”

Harness the power of your word because our language choices directs our thinking and we cannot afford the lazy luxury of negative thoughts.  Choose to be in joy with charismatic optimism.  Whatever is sacred to you, live it more, speak it more, act it more and be a shining example of the highest thoughts you can think, but most importantly demonstrate what you believe in your actions toward others.

It is not in the times of prosperity that tests and polishes who we believe ourselves to be, but the times of uncertainty that offer us the opportunities to shine and prove that we have become the ones we have been waiting for.

These are powerful times of change, use them as a vehicle to shine forward into your world and relationships the holy relationship you have with yourself and be the one to hold up the light for others when they have drop there on.

As we do this, others will hold the light up for us when we have forgotten and together in the river we will celebrate each other.      

  

A Message from the Hopi Elders

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

Here are the things that must be considered:

Where are you living? 
What are you doing? 
What are your relationships? 
Are you in right relation? 
Where is your water? 
 Know our garden. 
 It is time to speak your Truth. 
 Create your community. 
 Be good to each other.       

 And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

See who is there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves!
For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lonely wolf is over.

Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

 

Love & Light
Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Is Intensifying

Miracles

Miracles

Life sure seems as if it is intensifying.   My thoughts often go back to the letter that the Hopi Elders sent out to humanity in 2003 which stated.

“Do not hold onto the shores.  Jump into the river and follow the current of life.” 

In other words don’t hold onto what has been or what is safe but dive into your dreams and know your life is being guided.

When I look within myself to bring awareness of the times I experience the greatest amounts of peace, it is when I have minimum attachment to how circumstances will unfold themselves.  My personal and professional life is constantly filled with uncertainty and it has been a wondrous opportunity for the practice of surrender and not being attached to the process of how my goals manifest themselves.   Often times I’ll set my goals and surrender over the results, working the stepping stones that become milestones to their accomplishment throughout the year. Even though I make my best efforts, the goals can manifest very differently than originally dreamt.

What I’ve noticed is the mysterious way in which my goals come to a conclusion, many times even better than the picture I set in motion at the beginning of the year and how I thought they ought to be and what they ought to look like at their conclusion.

I stand in ah of how life diversifies itself to manifest perfectly the right people, contracts and students to be in community with each year. 

Each year new opportunities arise from unexpected sources and new relationships are formed that continue to deepen into a committed community of likeminded people.

What I keep focused upon is not, my picture of how the goal will manifest, but the feeling of the goal manifested.

I’m not attached to the HOW but to the end result.

We are all at the beginning of a very powerful year of learning HOW to manifest our dreams.  Stay focused on your outcomes and goals and surrender over HOW they will come into your life.  Be in the feeling of having the goal already manifested and feel the feeling of having your goal right now. 

If you haven’t set your goals for 2009, set them.  Your subconscious mind must know the direction you are heading in order for this infinite power to set all of life into motion towards manifestation. 

Discharge the thought that you are unable or miracles are for others.  They are for you.

The only reason our dreams do not manifest is we are not one pointedly focused upon them.

You are the eternal dreamer dreaming non eternal dreams.  Set your goals for 2009 surrender over the picture of how they will manifest and make this year the most powerful year of your life. Create your dreams with one pointed focus so you create miracles instead of mediocrity.

 

 

Love & Light

Love & Light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

Relationships and HNLP: Will You Create Heaven or Hell?

How We Think

How We Think

We possess the most complex neurological system on the planet. Yet how many teachers have come forward to explain the unique perspectives, beliefs and values that make up our individual character and create diversity in our relationships? What humanity requires is an owner’s manual for the human mind, a tool to teach respect for the differences that exist between us.

Ultimately we are each in a relationship with our individual self, but this relationship occurs within in the context of the communities we live in. We are here not only to live with passion but in congruency with the person we have come here to be. This is our soul purpose, our life mission.

Within our relationships then, we will either strengthen that congruence or weaken it through the way we treat one another. Our lives can be likened to a leaf floating down the river of time. In the currents of the river, we are periodically joined by others. Some of our relationships will last for a long period and some for a short period, but in time we all separate and continue our individual journeys to the sea. We are each here on a solo mission to evolve while also existing in relationships with one another, increasing our ability to love past our fears.

As Buddha said, we go to where our attachments are. So, become attached to very little. Do become attached to the wisdom that you distill from the great classroom of your relationships. Avoid obsession with the things you cannot change or the thoughts that have haunted you.

We know that all things constantly change, so change is the only consistency we have in life. It is not the events that occur in time within our lives that cause the pain, it is the meaning we have assigned to those events—it is this meaning that creates our Heaven or our Hell. Our relationships are where we will create the greatest fulfillment or the greatest regret. It is our mastery of relationships with others that will either release us or imprison us.

Relationships are the laboratory in which we can create tremendous growth by shifting the unhealthy patterns that no longer serve us. In the moment of our difficulties with one another is a holy instant when we can choose our response, perhaps one less habitual and more conscious. We can continue desiring to be right, or we can create a healing of misperceptions. But only you can choose the different path. The other person will do what he or she will, but you can take a stand for your own evolution.

Below are some questions to ask yourself that will help break the patterns of conditioned responses and help you to create new ones during times of challenge in your relationships:

  • 1. Am I willing to learn something valuable from this, and am I willing to do something to make it better?
  • 2. What is really upsetting me?
  • 3. Could this be a misperception on my part, and do I have all possible information?
  • 4. What else could this mean? (Try to glean more answers than what you gave in #2.)
  • 5. What do I require in order to feel good now?
  • 6. How can I communicate my needs in a way that empowers this person? (Hint: timing, clarifying, asking for help, apologizing.)
  • 7. Does this person have needs Iâ€TMve not yet seen? If so, what are they?
  • 8. What have I not seen about my own behavior and communication?
  • 9. What is great about this?
  • 10. Would I rather be right or be happy?

The greatest thing about Humanistic NLP is that itâ€TMs a science based technology of personal and professional change; HNLP returns us to the quiet memory of who we have come here to be. And it is in our relationships that we will strengthen that purpose. When relating with others, choose your responses carefully, because you create your future from your next highest thoughts about yourself. Choose your actions from a center of knowing that all behavior is either love or a call for it.

Love & Light

Love & Light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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