Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

Look Within

 

 

 

Creating Abundance Through Conversation

Our success or failure is determined by our ability to maintain and strengthen our relationships. Our ability to hold conversations with the intention of enrichment and understanding is at the heart of our relationship success. And relationship success governs our prosperity and happiness.

A key tenet of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) is that the person with the most flexibility becomes the most contributing person to the system in which they belong. When we realize that each person functions from a different set of beliefs, memories, values, and experiences (and therefore drawing their map of reality differently than our own), we must honor the fact that people are looking through different lenses and creating different realities.

Conversations filled with positioning of who is right or wrong or with armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships and fractured families, organizations and teams. The success destined individual, however, knows that by mastering flexibility of perception, she can more authentically honor the unique perspectives of those around her. She can comfortably hold authentic conversations filled with skillful and artful questions. This skill is the cornerstone of continued success in life.

Each of our realities is just as valid as any other person’s, so we require to learn and master the art of flexibility. We require to learn how to enter conversations with the primary intent to understand and empower our relationships while maintaining appropriate boundaries for ourselves. When we enter our conversations with this conscious intention, we can master the art of flexibility and increase our ability to hold authentic conversations, boosting our influence and increasing our own self esteem.

For example, what would your reality be like if you made a pact with yourself to simply stop talking ill of anyone? Try it. Find the highest thing you can say about one another and speak to that. Hold your highest thought for one another even if the other person’s behavior is disappointing to you. The results of this simple exercise are remarkable, remarkable both for you personally and for everyone you touch.

Principles of the Win-Win Conversation

Strengthen and leverage your relationships with these strategies for effective communication.

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify and enrich.
3. Also enter with the intention to empower yourself and the other person equally.
4. Authentically desire a win-win from the conversation.
5. Be accountable for your part in the situation.
6. Be fully and completely present with the other person.
7. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

Perspective Shifting and Finding the Harmony

Ask yourself these questions to establish the intention and outcome for any conversation and steer yourself away from pitfalls that are most commonly entered when two people are seeing through two different lenses.

1. What am I not seeing?
2. Where is my attention?
3. Where am I not being realistic?
4. What could be the positive intention of the other person?
5. How could I look at this differently?
6. How many different perspectives can I take to give me clarity?
7. What is present when I’m at my best?
8. What part of the solution am I?
9. Where might I be in denial?
10. What am I afraid of here, and is it real?
11. What are my false assumptions?
12. Who am I when I speak and act from my heart?
13. What changes will I affect when I show up as who I really am?
14. What is it to be a leader?
15. What am I grateful for in this situation?
16. What is the one thing that I require to say to bring resolution?
17. What am I teaching myself in this situation?

We require to utilize all of the skills available to us such as strong coaching questions, accountable perception, positive intention, and the ability to create rapport at the subconscious level.

By creating this type of environment of safety and trust, we can sustain our happiness and be a light to those who surround us.

Love & Light

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Miracles

Life sure seems as if it is intensifying.   My thoughts often go back to the letter that the Hopi Elders sent out to humanity in 2003 which stated.

“Do not hold onto the shores.  Jump into the river and follow the current of life.” 

In other words don’t hold onto what has been or what is safe but dive into your dreams and know your life is being guided.

When I look within myself to bring awareness of the times I experience the greatest amounts of peace, it is when I have minimum attachment to how circumstances will unfold themselves.  My personal and professional life is constantly filled with uncertainty and it has been a wondrous opportunity for the practice of surrender and not being attached to the process of how my goals manifest themselves.   Often times I’ll set my goals and surrender over the results, working the stepping stones that become milestones to their accomplishment throughout the year. Even though I make my best efforts, the goals can manifest very differently than originally dreamt.

What I’ve noticed is the mysterious way in which my goals come to a conclusion, many times even better than the picture I set in motion at the beginning of the year and how I thought they ought to be and what they ought to look like at their conclusion.

I stand in ah of how life diversifies itself to manifest perfectly the right people, contracts and students to be in community with each year. 

Each year new opportunities arise from unexpected sources and new relationships are formed that continue to deepen into a committed community of likeminded people.

What I keep focused upon is not, my picture of how the goal will manifest, but the feeling of the goal manifested.

I’m not attached to the HOW but to the end result.

We are all at the beginning of a very powerful year of learning HOW to manifest our dreams.  Stay focused on your outcomes and goals and surrender over HOW they will come into your life.  Be in the feeling of having the goal already manifested and feel the feeling of having your goal right now. 

If you haven’t set your goals for 2009, set them.  Your subconscious mind must know the direction you are heading in order for this infinite power to set all of life into motion towards manifestation. 

Discharge the thought that you are unable or miracles are for others.  They are for you.

The only reason our dreams do not manifest is we are not one pointedly focused upon them.

You are the eternal dreamer dreaming non eternal dreams.  Set your goals for 2009 surrender over the picture of how they will manifest and make this year the most powerful year of your life. Create your dreams with one pointed focus so you create miracles instead of mediocrity.

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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A Lesson in the Power of Language

The three pillars of Neuro-Linguistic Programming are (1) language, (2) imagination and (3) emotion. In this piece I want to talk about language and how it works to shape our lives. While imagination and emotion are often discussed esoterically, language is this tangible thing that is acting upon us and coming from us all of the time. It shapes our culture and forms the foundation of our relationships with one another and, more importantly, with ourselves.

Yet, how often have you taken the power of language for granted? Like the oxygen we breathe, we rarely give it a second thought until something painful happens to make us reconsider our actions, our words, the messages we have put out to the universe.

Language is the tool that directs our thinking, and whatever you are thinking about-whatever your mind is focused on-will determine your success or your failure. How many times though have you said to yourself “I am going to change my thinking,” but all you did was try to change your thinking?(!) This is an exercise in futility. The easiest way to change how you think is to change your language, both internally and externally.

If you continuously language your communications to align with your personal vision of success and abundance, you are, in effect, directing your subconscious mind toward that goal. The same is true of your negative thoughts. If you are constantly expecting the worst, talking about your fears, imagining the future cloaked in possible failure, you will draw those experiences toward you.

We employ just 10% of our mental capacity while the other 90% lies dormant at the subconscious level. What would our lives be like if we learned how to program the infinite capacity of our minds toward our goals and outcomes?

Here are some little known facts about the subconscious mind:

• Your subconscious mind is programmed by your conscious mind, but often it is power without direction.
• Your subconscious mind takes language literally and personally. Language is one of the most important ways we program this power within us.
• That which we dwell on, feel to be real, and language accordingly, are the principal programming agents that guide our lives’ successes and failures.
• We have CHOICE. We are in charge of our minds and therefore our results. We have all the abilities and resources we require to succeed in life.

 What we require to accomplish is the study of how to awaken and direct our subconscious minds toward our goals. Language is a bridge to this awakening.

The subject on which you are dwelling is the temple at which you pray. Either the God of your negative thought forms or the God of your positive thought forms will answer. Your present day reality is a culmination of answers to your past thoughts. You have brought those answers into manifestation by what you consistently dwelt upon and “languaged” to be real. Because of the delay of time, you have forgotten what you called into being and thus created for yourself.

How will you recreate your tomorrows using the Power of Language?

Love & Light

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How We Think

We possess the most complex neurological system on the planet. Yet how many teachers have come forward to explain the unique perspectives, beliefs and values that make up our individual character and create diversity in our relationships? What humanity requires is an owner’s manual for the human mind, a tool to teach respect for the differences that exist between us.

Ultimately we are each in a relationship with our individual self, but this relationship occurs within in the context of the communities we live in. We are here not only to live with passion but in congruency with the person we have come here to be. This is our soul purpose, our life mission.

Within our relationships then, we will either strengthen that congruence or weaken it through the way we treat one another. Our lives can be likened to a leaf floating down the river of time. In the currents of the river, we are periodically joined by others. Some of our relationships will last for a long period and some for a short period, but in time we all separate and continue our individual journeys to the sea. We are each here on a solo mission to evolve while also existing in relationships with one another, increasing our ability to love past our fears.

As Buddha said, we go to where our attachments are. So, become attached to very little. Do become attached to the wisdom that you distill from the great classroom of your relationships. Avoid obsession with the things you cannot change or the thoughts that have haunted you.

We know that all things constantly change, so change is the only consistency we have in life. It is not the events that occur in time within our lives that cause the pain, it is the meaning we have assigned to those events—it is this meaning that creates our Heaven or our Hell. Our relationships are where we will create the greatest fulfillment or the greatest regret. It is our mastery of relationships with others that will either release us or imprison us.

Relationships are the laboratory in which we can create tremendous growth by shifting the unhealthy patterns that no longer serve us. In the moment of our difficulties with one another is a holy instant when we can choose our response, perhaps one less habitual and more conscious. We can continue desiring to be right, or we can create a healing of misperceptions. But only you can choose the different path. The other person will do what he or she will, but you can take a stand for your own evolution.

Below are some questions to ask yourself that will help break the patterns of conditioned responses and help you to create new ones during times of challenge in your relationships:

• 1. Am I willing to learn something valuable from this, and am I willing to do something to make it better?
• 2. What is really upsetting me?
• 3. Could this be a misperception on my part, and do I have all possible information?
• 4. What else could this mean? (Try to glean more answers than what you gave in #2.)
• 5. What do I require in order to feel good now?
• 6. How can I communicate my needs in a way that empowers this person? (Hint: timing, clarifying, asking for help, apologizing.)
• 7. Does this person have needs Iâ€^TMve not yet seen? If so, what are they?
• 8. What have I not seen about my own behavior and communication?
• 9. What is great about this?
• 10. Would I rather be right or be happy?

The greatest thing about Humanistic NLP is that itâ€^TMs a science based technology of personal and professional change; HNLP returns us to the quiet memory of who we have come here to be. And it is in our relationships that we will strengthen that purpose. When relating with others, choose your responses carefully, because you create your future from your next highest thoughts about yourself. Choose your actions from a center of knowing that all behavior is either love or a call for it.

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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Pyramid of Time

I know many of us look at setting goals for the year as a tedious process, but we require to always remembering that resting underneath our cranium is the most powerful computer on the planet waiting for the data input. Either we will install exquisite software that expedites the journey or software that is incomplete, flawed, and filled with viruses.

You will get what you focus upon. Like gravity, it is a universal law.

The only reason you have not achieved your goals in the past is because somewhere along the way you lost your focus on them. Make 2007 the year of your power and fulfillment where your heart opens, you contribute more, and you walk your road in a sacred way.

To Become More Present, Ask Yourself:

• 1. What feelings and behaviors do you experience that you no longer desire? What causes you to reach for a new goal?
• 2. In what personal or professional environments do you experience these feelings that you no longer wish to have?
• 3. What are you experiencing specifically? What are you seeing, hearing and feeling when you have the experience you no longer desire?

To Achieve What You Desire, Ask Yourself:

• 1. What is your goal? What do you desire instead?
• 2. Are your goals aligned to your values? What do you value about their achievement? What does the achievement of your goal really do for you?
• 3. What are the milestones between where you are in the present state and the goal that tells you youâ€^TMre on the right track? Set a minimum of three milestones to mark your achievements.
• 4. What will you be seeing, hearing and feeling at each point along the way? Identify the milestone markers.
• 5. Who will you become upon achieving your goal? What will you be seeing, hearing and feeling upon the successful realization of your goal? Be in the emotional state of achieving your goal as if it has already happened; imagine the rewards of your success attained.

Resource Planning

• 1. What resources do you already have that will move you from your present state to your goal and outcome?
• 2. What resources do you require? And how will you get them? Identify your strategy.
• 3. What is the first step today you require to take to achieve your goal and take your life from the present state to the next level of success? Identify the steps you are committed to take for your success.

Thank you again for your willingness to be a part of this amazing community. I am looking forward to meeting many of you face to face in future trainings and voice to voice in future teleseries

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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