Our life and business success hinges on every conversation we participate in.

All the unsuccessful events in our life both personally and professional can be traced to our conversation skills, or lack of them and our lack of conflict resolution strategies.

Our conversation reflects the health of our relationships we are in.  Without the conversation, the possibilities for evolving the relationship or creating movement in our careers come to an end.  Organization falters relationships come to a end and we cease our own personal evolution and comprise our success opportunities.

As we decline the opportunity to have the conversations we require to have, we make ourselves smaller and smaller every time we do not demonstrate the courage to speak authentically, with self accountability and a desire to reach mutual understanding between the differences.

Eventually we will silently resent the person whom we have not had the courage to hold an authentic conversation with.  As a result the relationship further deteriorates as we weaken our self esteem through cowardice.

As the resentment builds and our truth continues to not be spoken, our behaviors become more covert and we find ourselves behaving in ways which are misaligned with our core values.

Every time we withhold our authenticity in our conversations we make ourselves smaller and smaller, weaker and weaker. This occurs within our marriages and life partnerships as well as within our business relationships.

As a consequence, our life success or failure will occur dependent upon our courage to hold authentic conversations.

 

The Missing Piece inside Your Conversation is you. 

Showing up fully present, honest, accountable and authentic will create your successful completion of your Goals. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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Greetings from Peru

I just desired to include everyone in our mastermind trip to Peru and Macchu Picchu which is our yearly trip to someplace incredible for my mastermind group.  This year we have organized to work with the most reverend Andean shaman, Malku.  Today we are gathering in Cusco and leaving for the Sacred Valley tomorrow.  I’ve posted some video to keep you all in the loop of our spiritual adventure.  This is a most required break from traveling almost non- stop since my last trip to Australia.  Hope you gain  Value from our adventure and looking forward to some of you joining us next year.  We will be posting video’s daily so follow along.  Click Here to go to my Utube Channel to watch my posted videos of the trip.

Light

Gary

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Greetings

I desire to continue with some of the information I began a few blogs ago and that was the power of language and the presuppositions inherent in the words we utilize to express our thoughts. 

I was doing a lecture here in Australia the other night and said that I felt there was a global pandemic, and no it wasn’t the swine flu but the global pandemic of the victim virus.  The audience readily agreed and I continued my presentation about self leadership.  But as I thought more about that statement I realized that most of our victim thinking is caused by the use of a linguistic pattern called Cause and Effect.

An example of this language pattern would be “I don’t trust people because I had abusive parents”, I can’t be success because I didn’t get a college education,”  where something, generally from the past, is the cause of some effect today.  This pattern makes the speaker a victim of something they have no control over today. 

We may have limited choice over situations in our lives but we have major choice over the meaning we ascribe to those situations.  So to help us get out of the conditioned rut of victim thinking utilize language choices such as “MY choice is” or any statement that begins with “I am.”   When you utilize language that is upgraded you will speak toward what you desire to create rather further conditioning yourself to think you are the effect of anything except your own perception.

Utilize some new language choices and let me know what results you get in your thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary

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During my career I have worked with thousands of individuals around the world as a corporate consultant, trainer and coach.  Rather than just coach for outward accountability, I have utilized the tools of Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) to create change at the deep structure of my client’s personality.  The concepts presented in this article blend leadership principles together with the foundational qualities of HNLP so that individuals can achieve fulfillment in their personal lives, organizations and families. 

 

Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology is literally the owner’s manual for your mind.  Humanism is a belief that each person is infinite possibility and potential.  Neuro refers to the science of how our nervous system receives millions of bits of data input from the external world and deletes, distorts and generalizes that data into our awareness.  Linguistics stands for the language we utilize to symbolize our thinking patterns and experiences and how our language shapes our reality.  Psychology refers to how the data is received, the responses we create that influences the patterns of behavior that develop over time, eventually becoming unconscious strategies for our lives and relationships.

 

When we can understand how something works we can fix it, modify it or improve it.  It is almost like programming an electronic device or tuning up a car.  If you have an owner’s manual, or an instruction manual, you can make adjustments that will bring about the desired results.  Similarly, without an owner’s manual we generally remain a little lost about how to modify ourselves and get what we desire. 

 

As I progressed in my career and experience, I began to hold the principle that we all require leadership skills in order to function optimally.  This holds true whether we are a parent, a spouse, CEO or family member.  We all belong to some form of an organization and generally we all will belong to a large array of different organizational structures requiring us to participate in different roles in our personal or business systems.

 

When seventy-five members of the Stanford Graduate School of Business’s Advisory Council were asked what that the most essential ingredient for the development of true leadership was, the near unanimous answer was “self awareness”. (Harvard Business Review 2007)  Self-awareness requires self-exploration whether we are a member of a fortune 500 company building the culture of the organization or a new mom who desires only the best influence for her child.  The deeper the self-awareness obtained, the greater the leader that is born out of the quest to understand oneself.

 

To begin our self-exploration, we require an understanding of where we are now and what is possible for each and every one of us.  We require a working knowledge of how we became who we are, what our unique personalities and individual beliefs are, and how our values, perceptions and attitudes were formed.  We require a fundamental understanding of how to operate our perception of reality in order to create maximum fulfillment. 

 

We have resting underneath our cranium the most powerful computer on the planet capable of operating millions of functions simultaneously.  We utilize approximately 10% of our potential consciously with the other 90% latent at the subconscious.  If 90 % of who we are rests at the subconscious level, it makes sense to discover how to effect change at the subconscious level within ourselves first.  If we are to effect lasting change within ourselves, our organizations or our families we require starting at the subconscious level.

 

As I work with individuals and organizations throughout the world I notice that there is a recurring theme, which lies at the foundation of why consulting or coaching is sought out.  An underlying river of unresolved issues stops people from creating fulfilling and functional relationships, establishing rewarding careers, and most importantly, growing in compassion and regard for themselves.

 

This river of unresolved impressions that halts possibility is the culmination of what each one of us has experienced in the past.  It consists of what we made up about those experiences and how we continue to out-picture our beliefs and perspectives, projecting them onto our partners at home and in the office.

 

Childhood experiences consisting of the triumphs and tragedies of all that we have experienced while growing up are the foundational blueprint of what we have built our personality upon and what at a subconscious level guides our emotional landscape and governs our behaviors. 

 

We were born into a specific genealogical line, the combination of both our father’s and mother’s issues colliding into one household and creating a environment which would help form the you that you became.  The ecology in which we found ourselves as children was a result of a complex emotional environment handed down through the generations that culminated in the personalities of our mother and father.  This combination became the laboratory where we constructed our model of our world.   Some of what we made up and modeled from our parents will be the best of who we are. While some of what we model can cut at the very root of life fulfillment and our ability to achieve emotional freedom from over-responding emotional states and inflexible perceptions. 

 

Every person I have worked with for the last twenty five years, from top level executives in billion dollar corporations to students in massage school, have at the root of their life issue these sacred wounds from their mother and father.  These issues are the underlining reason that life becomes out of balance, relationships become unmanageable and self worth becomes unstable. 

 

Life consistently desires to express itself and evolve.  What we have un-healed and out of balance within ourselves manifests in the dynamics of our professional and personal relationships.  As we believe so it is.  How we think and what we dwell upon influences our perception of reality and defines our experience.  If our perception of our co-workers strangely reminds us of our family dynamics, or if our life partners become strangely similar to that of either our mother or father (or both), then we are reacting from a subconscious level.  All we know is that we feel the old fear, shame or anger again.  We experience our current reality through the filters of our past cumulative experiences.  If our past has unresolved emotions linked to it, if our past relationships remain unresolved and painful, we will carry more of a reactive perspective to how we deal with the dynamics of our families or the relationships in our professional organizations in which we belong. 

 

Self-awareness obtained through the deeper understanding and exploration of how we are constructing our perceptions and attitudes is the foundation of true leadership.  There are over one hundred techniques for harnessing the power of the mind for leaders contained within the science of Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology.  It is the science of self and the foundation for the natural leader.

Follow my Blogs for more!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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Why do you say NLP is a science?

This information is not metaphysical mumbo jumbo or blind faith. It’s how the neurology works.  If you know how something works, you can do things to adjust it.  But if you don’t know how your own nervous system works, how you encode your reality, how your past influences you, how you program yourself, then there’s no way to really drive the vehicle of your life in the direction of your heart’s desire. People are floundering out in the world and creating immense suffering which is passed to their children for generation after generation.  Before you know it we have a complete world of dysfunctional people who are in intense pain who will die for the rightness of their illusions.  My vision is to unravel the stories of the past to awaken people to their fullest potential.

How are you different than other NLP Master Practitioners?

I’m different because I am 100% totally committed to changing people’s lives for the better. I desire to help people who, by their own example, can create a community of positive, resourceful, focused and successful people.  They can go out there and positively inspire their families, their friends, and who knows, maybe thousands and thousands of people that I’ll never see or touch.  All it takes is a small group of committed people to change the world.  And that’s the only thing that ever has.

It sounds like you’re putting a spiritual spin on it.

That’s true.  I really believe NLP is just a prop for me to talk about this creative force we call God.  Because above and beyond all of the technology that NLP teaches is another whole level of existence, which is our spiritual body, our spiritual essence, which is why we’re actually here.  But we cannot access those qualities inside of ourselves if our mind is filled with fear, unresolved negative emotions and the drama of our past. 

Until we can literally quiet that fear, we can’t access the truth about ourselves.  So my whole premise is to first give people the tools to quiet their minds so that the natural propensity to be who we are can rise to the surface.  Otherwise people will be in too much fear to be able to quiet themselves enough to do the spiritual work they came here to do. 

So for me everything I’m doing is about building the foundation, how to take people from “I know nothing” to “These are practical skills so I can have more options, so that I’m not totally locked in to my internal hell, and I can start making different choices about myself, my life and my world.”  Once they have that, there’s another whole level of teaching that has to happen. I know this because in my experience, I meditated for years and years, anticipating these huge spiritual awakenings.  I had minor ones, I had unique experiences that are paranormal, but the predominance of my meditation time was stuck in my head, rattling around my past and trying to quell the deep, deep emotions that were running my life. 

I tried for years and years to be this spiritual guy. I went to India; I studied with a guru.  I was meditating two and a half hours a day, from 3 to 5:30 EVERY morning for 15 years and you know what?  It was painful.  And I could not achieve the spiritual level I felt I should be reaching in the spiritual discipline I was involved in because my mind and emotions were completely out of control.

But the instruction I was given at the time was just “Keep meditating, brother.  Just keep meditating.  Use your mantras.”  And I’m like, “No!”  I’m in total agony about my mother, I’m in total agony about my father, and all these incest issues – I got all these repressed sexual feelings, I can’t cope with any of it.  Sitting for two and a half hours at 3 in the morning and falling asleep half the time is NOT going to resolve the issues!  It is about working at the level of the mind with the tools of the mind – that’s how you can awaken who you really are.  So until we can quiet our minds, we really can’t get to our hearts.  And that’s the whole reason I teach what I teach.

Do your teachings go beyond the basic NLP model?

The Master Practitioners at my Center and I teach a whole Life Design^© process – that we can redesign our lives in alignment with a higher reason and a higher function.  But until we’re able to really do it and heal the voices of our past we won’t be able to progress

The more that we continue to dwell on things we can’t do or things from our past, the more we become entrenched in the negatives.  So the focus of our mind is really the definition of our heaven or hell.  And if 97% of the 60,000 thoughts we think a day are about our past, then all we’re doing in our future is simply recreating the structure of our past.

Life Design is literally the tool to quiet the voices of our past so we can wake up to the natural stillness and the natural spirituality that we all are.

Are some people turned off by your focus on spirituality?  Do they think you’re advocating a particular religious doctrine?

Spirituality is not about a denomination or a structure or methodology of practicing worship of God, whatever that is to you.  It could be anything – it could be the wind, it could be Buddha, it could be Mohammad, it could be Christ – it could be anything.  But it’s something bigger than our egos; something larger than the definition of our personality.  When we create a reference point that is   something larger than our ego and our personality, then we start to live at a higher frequency.

How do your Life Design teachings facilitate that?

Our personality is very much like a glass of milk.  When the milk is stirred, meaning when the mind is restless, we’re constantly, habitually thinking about the past.  We think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 97% of them are about the past.  We’re constantly thinking, dwelling, perceiving, interpreting our future through the lens of our past, so that all we really see is our reaction to our unhealed emotional issues from our past in our future, so we keep recreating it.  That’s like the milk being stirred. 

We’re constantly being reactivated neurologically — we’re reactivated by what we perceive through the five senses.  Everything we see, hear, touch, taste or smell, we’re filtering through what memories it evokes from our past. When we still that, when we still the unresolved negative emotions from our past experiences, we reinterpret the internal voices so they’re our cheering section for our success rather than a booing section for what we have as our perceived failures. 

We can turn that around and change that, systematically, scientifically and neurologically, through reimprinting our nervous system through the three principal learning channels of visual, auditory and kinesthetic.  When we do that with the assistance of NLP and Life Design training we still the milk.  When the milk becomes still, then the cream naturally rises to the surface, the richness of who we are naturally comes to the surface.  We don’t have to learn how to be loving or spiritual beings – we already are. It’s the restlessness and the endless jabbering of our minds and our egos, our defenses, our pasts and our distorted filters that cause us not to function from the essence of who we naturally are – which is love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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