Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

Will you pass down chaos or choice?

This life you are leading-a life clothed by your current identity-is an incredible gift. Even if your experience here has been a painful one, realize that it is a spiritual journey, not a stop-off on the way to Heaven or Hell. You absolutely required to be here at this exact moment in history.

As we walk through life in Human Form, we are continuously presented with windows of opportunity to acquire the wisdom of our ancestry. We each have created a soul contract with our mothers and fathers to utilize this earthly existence to deepen our own relationship with the Divine. Your unique family system provides you with a laboratory of joy and pain that can be used to awaken your deepest core wounds so they may be healed and transformed. Through this awakening, you travel a path of finding the answers and creating the healing you require so that you may return back to love.

Our family dynamics were designed and created out of love, no matter how our family systems manifested themselves in this physical reality. We are not victims, and we must know that we can rise above the ancestral dynamic and live life as the designer of own destiny.

The ancestral buck stops with each one of us. We can learn to be co-creators of our reality. We can and should take a stand for creating balance within ourselves, our families, and our communities. We can rise above our ancestral influences and live life from the perspective of choice, not chaos. We can then pass this way of living on to our children, creating a movement of personal accountability from the very young to the aged.

By healing the ancestral patterns, we celebrate the perfection of the order of life. We came through the perfect parents who co-created the perfect circumstances to wound us in the perfect way and create the dynamic tension that would spur each of to begin the quest towards self actualization. The divine order of our family dynamics allows our souls to mature and awakens in us the opportunity to evolve and celebrate. That is the gift.

The Hopis say there is absolutely no past, that everything that ever existed is present right here in the cells of our bodies, that every ancestor that ever lived is resonating in our DNA. You are the culmination of the thought forms of everything that has gone before you. Yet you have the choice to do it differently. You have the choice to overcome the idea of separation and fear. You have the choice to move out of the victim archetype and to be first person accountable for creating your world out of the words you speak, the things you contemplate, and the emotions you choose to feel.

By learning the tools of the science and technology of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology, we can still the stories of our past and awaken the inherent wisdom that is within each of us. The baton is in your hands. The technology is available. It is time to transform our ancestral patterns and awaken to what we came here to be: accountable, empowered, contributive, loving and compassionate to all living things.

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A Lesson in the Power of Language

The three pillars of Neuro-Linguistic Programming are (1) language, (2) imagination and (3) emotion. In this piece I want to talk about language and how it works to shape our lives. While imagination and emotion are often discussed esoterically, language is this tangible thing that is acting upon us and coming from us all of the time. It shapes our culture and forms the foundation of our relationships with one another and, more importantly, with ourselves.

Yet, how often have you taken the power of language for granted? Like the oxygen we breathe, we rarely give it a second thought until something painful happens to make us reconsider our actions, our words, the messages we have put out to the universe.

Language is the tool that directs our thinking, and whatever you are thinking about-whatever your mind is focused on-will determine your success or your failure. How many times though have you said to yourself “I am going to change my thinking,” but all you did was try to change your thinking?(!) This is an exercise in futility. The easiest way to change how you think is to change your language, both internally and externally.

If you continuously language your communications to align with your personal vision of success and abundance, you are, in effect, directing your subconscious mind toward that goal. The same is true of your negative thoughts. If you are constantly expecting the worst, talking about your fears, imagining the future cloaked in possible failure, you will draw those experiences toward you.

We employ just 10% of our mental capacity while the other 90% lies dormant at the subconscious level. What would our lives be like if we learned how to program the infinite capacity of our minds toward our goals and outcomes?

Here are some little known facts about the subconscious mind:

• Your subconscious mind is programmed by your conscious mind, but often it is power without direction.
• Your subconscious mind takes language literally and personally. Language is one of the most important ways we program this power within us.
• That which we dwell on, feel to be real, and language accordingly, are the principal programming agents that guide our lives’ successes and failures.
• We have CHOICE. We are in charge of our minds and therefore our results. We have all the abilities and resources we require to succeed in life.

 What we require to accomplish is the study of how to awaken and direct our subconscious minds toward our goals. Language is a bridge to this awakening.

The subject on which you are dwelling is the temple at which you pray. Either the God of your negative thought forms or the God of your positive thought forms will answer. Your present day reality is a culmination of answers to your past thoughts. You have brought those answers into manifestation by what you consistently dwelt upon and “languaged” to be real. Because of the delay of time, you have forgotten what you called into being and thus created for yourself.

How will you recreate your tomorrows using the Power of Language?

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Events are empty unto themselves and our perspectives ascribe the meaning to them which will either transform them into personal and professional benefits or perpetuate our distortion.  Our distortions are generated from the collective experience of our past, therefore the First LAW for a Fulfilling Life is: Transform your past to be Your Greatest Ally for Your Future.

 For any of us to be successful, personally and professionally, we require powerful and trusting alliances within our relationships.  The primary hierarchy of importance in our relationships is first, relationship to oneself.  The second is relationship to others, and the third is relationship to a deeper purpose for which your life contributes back.   Relationships with others are based upon our ability to effectively communicate and our communication is based upon the level of rapport and trust we are capable of establishing.

 One extraordinarily important principle for organizations and families to recognize is each member of the organization affects others and will enhance or contaminate the culture.   According to the Heart Math Research Institute, each individual emanates a resonate field of energy measurable by science that affects other people around them.  This resonate field is created by the overall emotional states the person feels continually.

 The health of your family or your company is based upon the collective thinking patterns of the members within it.  Each person affects the whole of the environment in which they dwell, whether it is home or office, with their thoughts, the language that represents those thoughts and the emotions they produce as a consequence.  Does it make sense that fundamental Life skills to transform thinking and emotions are required for our personal, spiritual and financial success?

 I was conducting a series of trainings for a prominent pharmaceutical company in California in their global safety department, which consisted of approximately twenty highly skilled doctors and research scientists.

The VP of the department had contacted me and communicated that the culture within the department was sliding downhill fast.  The staff was under tremendous pressure with long work hours and impossible deadlines.  The extra stress of personality conflicts was the straw that would break the camel’s back. His primary concern was that he would begin losing his highly qualified staff he had worked so hard to recruit.

   I arrived on the grounds of the company which was like a mini city in its entirety.  With walking paths, child care, a gymnasium, a pool and overlooking the Pacific Ocean:  A rather stunning place to work.

 As I enter the training room and met the team I noticed one individual in the room who seemed defensive and withdrawn before I even opened my mouth.  The team was cordial, alert, but reserved.  As I began the presentation this one individual would barely participate, distracted others and was in overall resistance to learning the communication tools I was presenting. 

 Rather than leave a contaminating personality in the room with the other willing participants, I firmly, and respectfully, asked him to leave the training room.  With every organization I have the privilege of working with, I reserve this right.

 As soon as this doctor left the training room the entire room took a collective breath simultaneously.  The energy of the room relaxed and I observed the tension leaving the bodies of the members of the team.  I stood there wondering could this one individual have this much influence on the stress levels and the growing negative culture of the department.

 I merely had to ask one simple question: “How are you all feeling now?”

Like a monsoon of information, each person shared their frustration with this individual.  He was recently recruited and was one of the medical heads of the department which required much of the work to be approved by.  Story after story came forward about how difficult it was to accomplish the workload after his arrival and how the management could not see it.

 Resentment had built toward the VP, communication lessened because of resentment and the VP did not have enough information to take action. 

The remainder of the trainings went effectively and the culture shifted dramatically after the enactment of the communication tools which were taken onboard by the team.  The resistant doctor entered a coaching program with me, through the request of the VP.  The core experiences which drove his behavior were uncovered and resolved, resulting in him becoming a functional part of the team.  

 My belief is that people affect other people and each one of us has the responsibility to become fully matured in our relationship to ourselves.  By taking responsibility for our own emotional states, getting clarity, having effective conversational and negotiation skills while ceasing the destructive positioning for power and the need to be right, we can reach that mature state in our relationship to ourselves.  Each one of us requires to become fully self aware and have the tools to shift our beliefs, transform our past experiences to retain the wisdom rather than the resentment.  Each one of us requires to become fully responsible for the filters we see our world through, so that we can become as free as we can from over reacting emotions and distortions.

 We require to learn the art of entering into our communication with a genuine desire to enrich our business and personal relationships with authentic conversations and accountability for our emotional states.  When we exhibit flexibility in our approach to others, we view the diversity of other peoples’ perspectives, with understanding and grace, while creating peace within ourselves.

 Here are some foundational principles:

 Principles:

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person so you have the ability to create an unconscious connection during the conversation.

2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify, enrich and empower yourself, and the other person equally.

3. Authentically desire that a win-win occur from the conversation.

4. Be accountable for your part in creating any disagreements in the situation

5. Be fully focused and completely present with the other person.

6. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

 Before you enter a conversation that is important to you, clarify your outcomes with the following questions when you enter the conversation:

 Setting Outcomes:

1. What do you desire?

2. If we both got what we desired what would that look like?

3. What would be your highest choice for the situation?

4. What would it take to make us both feel great?

5. What do you require to feel like we both won?

6. What is your outcome for our conversation?

 Our relationships are the temple we reveal our emotional intelligence and our relationship with ourselves.  The more we can enter our conversations with awareness the greater our relationships will blossom, the more effective we will become and the higher our self esteem and self worth will rise. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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