Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

We have all grown into the identities we are, in the emotional pool of our ancestors.  Our parents within the environment of their parents and their parents within theirs, down through the generations until the family triumphs and tragedies come to a still point in our life expression.  The question is: do we continue the legacy of our ancestors through our actions, beliefs and valves or do we cull those inherited beliefs and values so we can turn our past into our greatest ally.  

This book is written to awaken the curiosity of the reader to a larger picture.  A spiritual perceptive of family, life purpose ,grace, order and share practical useable TOOLS to shift our personal tragedies to our greatest triumphs and create a life of personal fulfillment and contribution. 

Contained within these pages are TOOLS which work. 

As a man thinketh so he becomes”

 

Here is my journey of discovering the secret message of my family system and it’s spiritual significance for my the evolution of my heart and soul.

 My search for answers to the pain of how to emotional cope as a young adult and become a self responsible member of society was overwhelming to me as a young man.  I began the use of drugs at a young age of 14 and progressed from wine and marijuana to intervenes drug use by 16. 

Many people wonder why individuals fall into drug or alcohol addiction. I can only speak for myself.  It was the pain I carried about what had happened in my family.

The lack of, loss of and betrayal of love that I had witnessed. The insanity, drug and alcohol use I was subjected to and standing witness to what once was love between my parents turn into this dark expression of violence, hatred, attempted murder, suicide attempts and betrayal.

My mother grew more and more desperate, afraid and unbalanced as I matured.  She had built her identity on being a mother and wife.  As my father retired from the navy and began college my mother became more threatened by his distance and expansion and the drinking began.  Her role as a mother was simultaneously changing as my brother and myself were maturing. 

The damage her fear of the loss of love caused within the family was complete and devastating.

I spent many years of my youth in clinical shock from the behaviors of my mothers overwhelming fear she was losing the only thing that ever loved her, her family.

I witnessed how the lack of love and compassion can drive a person to madness.

The role I took was to become my mothers best friend and psychotherapist at the age of eleven.

My way of surviving the lack of love was to do my best to balance what I saw to missing. The conversation, the reassurance and time.  This dynamic continued in the house until I entered high-school and my parents divorced, and continued in my personal relationship with my mother until her death.

 

The purpose for my drug use was to break me free from the fear, anger and deep sadness. I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation and give me any other experience than the ones I had been experiencing in my family.

My drugs of choice were crystal methamphetamine, LSD  and opium.  I moved to Hollywood as soon as I graduated from High school with two female friends.  We were going to make a life in L.A. One of my friends developed a very expensive heroin habit of a couple thousand dollars a day while I was heading for a emotional breakdown at the tender age of 17.  Through the drug use and fear, I eventually fell apart. 

My Father saved me.  He let me move back to San Diego to begin junior college.  He gave me a car and a very inexpensive place to live to begin my life new.  The depression at this part of my life was so severe that I would wake up in my furniture less apartment, walk down stairs, lay on the carpet and stare out the windows watching the clouds roll by until night fall.  When the sun set and I was laying in darkness, I would then get up, go back upstairs and fall asleep to begin the same cycle over again the next day.  I lived off food stamps and ate fruit from a orange tree and apricot tree in the back yard of the in-law apartment I was living in. My fear was overwhelming. People terrified me and I felt I did not have the ability to even hold a conversation. Basically I couldn’t think any longer.  Through the use of drugs, especially crystal, I had lost the ability to formulate a logical process of thought.  My greatest fear was, I had damaged myself to such a extent, that I would be unable to take care of myself and therefore how would I survive.  At this time I began to seek spirituality. 

It took another year of being lost in drugs before the night would come which would wake me up.  It was during this period I began to have spiritual experiences.  I have been given several throughout my life which have metamorphosed the way I view and experience my world.

The first such experience happened in a concert.  My girlfriend at the time had purchased front row tickets to a Donovan concert.  I was smoking three packs of Marlboro longs a day and still using intravenous drugs.  I was becoming very addicted to the ceremony of shooting-up drugs. If I was out of drugs I would shoot-up warm sugar water for a rush and the ritual of a needle in my arm. At the time I had access to a very fine grade of opium which was just one grade shy of heroin.  This had become my drug of choice.  I had chosen to be drug free for the concert because Donovan was more about spirituality and meditation than the most of the concerts I had attended. 

As I waited for the concert to begin I had no clue that this was the night I would make one of the greatest changes of my life.  When Donovan emerged from backstage he sat down in a sea of flowers and began turning up his Sitar.  Remember this was 1970.  As He was preparing to start the concert, He stopped and looked at me for a moment.  He then pointed to me and said “You are wasting time” A very simple phase , which hit me like a lightening bolt.  I knew what this meant to the very depths of my bones and through every cell of my body.  I knew my life was destined to do something beyond what I had seen demonstrated within my family.  I simple didn’t know how or what.  I had felt up to this point of my life that my life was immobile, stagnate and full of fear about all the things I wasn’t, a helpless victim of my past.

 In that moment I woke up to a degree.  I sat there transfixed upon his words, my body rushing with energy and knew it was time to change my life.

Have you ever felt something big coming?

Similar to a storm and you didn’t quite know who you would be after the storm of if you would survive.

As the anxiety began to fill my body I knew in that moment I could no longer continue smoking my three packs of cigarettes a day and shooting drugs into my veins, I would die following this course of behavior.  I knew I had the willingness to change my life but the anxiety would not lessen.

I realized the fear wasn’t so much about giving up my addictions as it was about who would I be after all the crutches were released. I had developed a certain persona with a group of friends that have become my identity.  Who would I become without all the props of my past, my story, my friends and the things we valued.

In that moment I felt all the aspects of my personality shifting within me in a hurricane of change.

As I continued my internal metamorphosis Donovan began his concert.  By the end of the concert I had thrown away my cigarettes and ended my drug use.

When I returned home that night my internal world continued the integration until the next morning.

As I entered my house I went to the secret place I hide my drugs and my outfit of needles and syringes and bandages and flushed the remaining opium down the toilet, broke all my needles and syringes and went for a walk.

It was one of those rare southern Californian nights where we were experiencing rain.  I placed a coat on my shoulders and walked and walked until I couldn’t walk any longer with this Donovan’s voice in my heart and head saying you are wasting time, you are wasting time.

 

Somewhere within my ancient memory resonated a knowingness, a urgency to begin the Path to potentialize whoever I could be into that man of possibility.

I spent the rest of the evening on a hillside in the rain sobbing into my hands from the release of my addictions and the overwhelming fear of HOW I would create the change I knew had to occur.

 My life began again that night on that rain soaked canyon hillside over looking Mission Bay in San Diego.

I knew my life would have to be spiritually focused and create a contribution to others.  The only road to fulfillment I knew was how can I extend myself to others in a meaningful way and make a difference.

I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation, my story of what had happened to me, my false sense of self.  I abandoned ALL my friendships and my dog became my only companion.

I required to create structure in my life from the chaos of emotions and thoughts that pervade a drug induced mind and body.     

I began seeking for a spiritual path that resonated with me.  I sought in the Christian traditions although beautiful, felt off center for me in this crucial junction of my life.

I explored Buddhism and knew I required more structure.

The Transcendental Meditation movement was very strong at this point in history and I was attracted to the discipline of the path and began to pursue initiation.

One night a friend informed me he knew of a drummer who followed a Living Master and meditated in the yoga of the Sound Current and was playing in a group down at a bar in Mission Beach. 

I had never heard of this Path of meditation before and curious I went to the club late the next night.

Having just turned eighteen I was unable to get in but waited in the parking lot at the back door till 2:00pm in the morning waiting for the bar to close.

Willie was his name, a physically short, long haired man with a glit in his eye came through the door.  As the garbage fumes from the alley way drifted through the air I said:

 ”hello, my name is Gary and I’ve been waiting for you to talk to you about the Master”

 

Willie was very cautious at first to verify I wasn’t some drugged up kid who thought it was cool to pretend spirituality.

After we spoke for about ½ hour he committed to loan a book which I had three days to return to him.

The next night I returned to the parking lot behind the bar and waited for Willie to emerge from the backdoor.

Willie walked through the door into to the parking lot to meet me with the book in hand.

As he handed me the book entitled  “Path of the Masters” he said in a low serious tone. ” this will be the most important book you will ever read.”

I devoured the book and knew as soon as the book was placed in my hands that this was the Path that would offer me the structure and discipline I required.

 

I jumped in.  I began reading as many books on the Yoga of the Sound Current and began an uninitiated meditational practice, turned vegetarian and celibate and devoted myself to turning my life into more than it had been in my previous life of drugs and victimization.

 

I went to my first Satsang or meeting of disciplines with mixed feelings.  It felt a bit like church and there was no one my age and certainly not from my background.  I felt out of place and awkward but forced myself to keep going back because these strangers were my only social contact I would allow myself at this point.

After about three months of meetings it was announced that the Master was taking a rare trip out of India and coming to America and Canada.

I had the opportunity to travel and follow the Masters tour from San Francisco to Los Angeles and in time was initiated into the Yoga of the Sound Current.

(More tomorrow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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Today’s blog, is what we replace all the language of disempowerment with.  This is why you’ll speak more succinctly.  How important is it that we understand the root of where our language patterns, our thinking patterns, comes from in changing it?  I believe it’s context dependent and individually dependent.  I’ve worked with some clients where it was very important to neutralize the negative emotions which is what we’re going to be doing tomorrow.  We’re going to be doing processes that neutralize the internal representations in our minds of how we hold our past.  And we’re going to do it easily.  Because unless your internal representations change, there is no shift.  Some people can just get this information and say, ‘I have no requirement to know what that was.  I’m just going for it.  I’m going for my outcome.  I’m staying completely focused.’  Some people are so disempowered by the emotional luggage that they’re carrying that it’s near to impossible for them to get into a peak emotional state to actually apply the language and the discipline it takes to apply the language. 

 

This is why the language is so imperative in continuing the whole process of doing your enfoldment.  Because unless you are keeping your language clear and clean you will create disempowered emotional states which cuts at the root of your power and puts you right into apathy and procrastination.  Language is the wind underneath the wings of imagination and emotion.  Unless we can keep our language up and alert and aware knowing that we are co-creating by every word we speak, every word is a prayer coming into reality speaking as a self-fulfilling prophecy.  So unless we can do this part of it, which is the beginning of this training, it is very difficult to do the next day to keep the imagination and the outcome in your mind’s focus.

 

 This work takes discipline, you guys.  Most of us have been in a state of such disempowerment that we have become so apathetic in the past about our lives.  And the reason we’ve become apathetic is because we’ve yet to be able to discover a system that actually sustains change.  So we do all this work and we revert back and we do more work and we revert back and then we go into hopelessness.  How many of you have been there?  I most certainly have in the past.  And now, with this system, of how from moment to moment, word by word, mental focus by mental focus, you have a direct succinct system that shows you how you’ve created it and how you can sustain a different state.  I personally think this is the missing piece out of most of the personal change technology out there.  People graze against it, they brush up against it.  This gives you the system and unless the system is enrolled into all the other behavioral change work, which is all fabulous, our patterns will revert back by the habitual thinking and the language which represents it. 

 

How we correct ourselves.  What do you do when you catch yourself in non-productive or limiting language: gossip or self-criticism?  You say Cancel/clear or Cancel/negate or in the past at the end of what you just became aware of saying or thinking.  Our subconscious mind takes our language literally and when we use one or both phrases we clear the slate of our mind.  So did you hear me as I was speaking.  I kept on saying ‘in the past.’  Because all that was story about stuff that we’re moving away from and it’s in the past.  The focus of our mind is the temple at which we pray. 

 

Examples of transforming your language: I am trying to change my life.  I have a successful relationship with the qualities of intimacy, honesty and integrity within myself and my partner.  I create a foundation of love in my home.  And you can even bring more specificity into that by saying, ‘By September of the year 2000 I’m working on a new career.  I’ve hired a marketing agent.  We are producing a series of tapes, lectures and a book.  I’m adjusting my income.  I am receiving $300,000 yearly for my work as a software engineer.  I choose happiness.  I choose happiness in my job as a computer programmer and in my relationship with Natasha.  I choose love.  I experience love from my father John, my mother Betty, my brother Alphonso, and my sister Anastasia.  Even the word I choose is still a process.  It’s an upgrade from I want and I need.  However it is still a process.  When you just claim it in the moment – I create, I experience, I am – it collapses time and brings it right to now.  Now this becomes even more imperative and more important as we go into the imagination aspect.  Because tomorrow we go into how to be emotionally in outcome.  Because, if you can feel it you imprint the subconscious mind even more powerfully.  If you can feel it you can make it real.

 

Language of distortion.  She always does that.  When she’s at home she does the gardening.  After dinner she generally meditates.  Three times per week she does some form of exercise.  My perception is she acts guilty.  That’s a projection, huh?  I am here to help everyone.  I am here to contribute to my mother and my father.  I am here to give physical support to my teammates, George, Bob and Mary.  You never share your feelings.  When I allow myself to become upset I remember only the times that you’ve been quiet.  I want it in my relationship.  I choose to be present, honest and tell the truth in my relationship with Roger.  I choose to have financial security in the amount of $300,000 yearly in combined income in my relationship with Scotty.  I wish I could receive love from them.  This is the language of generalization.  I choose to receive love from Bud, Bonnie and my father Valerio.  That’s just the way I am.  How many of you have said that or had that said to you?  In the past I expressed anger with violence and now I choose to negotiate.  Language of negation.  I love you but…  I love you and I would be more comfortable if you would put medicated foot powder in your shoes.  This was actually said to me. 

 

Isn’t she beautiful?  She’s beautiful.  Can’t you help me.  Please help me.  Didn’t you love it.  Did you like that movie. 

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Language of disempowerment.  Our subconscious mind takes it literally, we’ve been speaking in forms of language that we hear around us daily.  We are often unaware of what we are actually programming into the subconscious.  Our goal is to use language as outcome oriented, first person accountable moving in the direction of our heart’s desire.  When we use the language of disempowerment we keep our thoughts and emotions in a place of stagnation.

 

Examples of the language of disempowerment: I want and I wish.  Everybody say I want.  Now say My choice is.  How does it feel?  Does it feel different energetically?  Yes!  The volume totally went up.  Now say I require.  I need.  I want.  Now say I require.  Which has more power?  I need.  I desire.  Desire means from the Latin root for the father.  I want and I need literally means more desire without ever having the outcome.  That’s what it literally translates to.  Yes, it’s an outcome in the way it’s languaged is that because you’re wanting it and the subconscious takes your language literally and personally, you can continue wanting it for a very, very long time.  But when you say my choice is, I create my divine partnership, by this date, that’s something quite different than wanting to get married.  What you do is you actually take the infinite power of your subconscious, which is 1 with 8 million miles of half inch zeros, and you go snap – go there!  When you sit in the emotional state of actually feeling that your lover is actually there and you fall asleep at night and you feel your lover’s breath on the back of your neck and you go to sleep in the emotional state of already being in that committed relationship – because before you go to sleep at night is the seed time of the subconscious mind.  Your subconscious processes that emotion for 6 to 8 hours.  What do you think that does?  When you go to sleep in loneliness, in tearfulness about what is not, what do you think your subconscious mind processes for 6 to 8 hours?  For more direct manifestation of what you will experience the following day and have evidence of.  You will see it when you believe it!  We believe it first and then we see it.  So that’s the difference between want and I choose.

 

I’m not.  As soon as you hear I’m not coming out of your mouth cancel, clear, which I’ll teach you in just a little bit, and go I am.  Whenever you’re speaking about I’m not, whenever you use that, you’re going to go into your story immediately.  You’re talking about what you’re moving away from rather than what you’re moving toward.  Remember that when you’re speaking about what you’re moving away from you’re in your story and you’re giving mental focus to what you’re moving away from rather than what you’re moving toward.  So it’s very important that I’m not is a huge red flag for you that you’re going into your story and you’re speaking at the temple and you’re praying at the temple of what you’re moving away from.

 

I would.  I will.  I must and I’ve got to.  How many of you do that one?  I choose to, I can’t, I will, I should, I will, I will try, I will, I hope, my choice is, I don’t know – how many of you say I don’t know?  Big time.  So I don’t know is replaced by I’ll find out, I choose to know.  You make me.  I love that one.  In the context of relationships…how many of you have been in relationships where your partner says, ‘You make me…’  You know you’re in trouble.  I create for myself.  Let me.  From whom are we asking permission?  It’s hard.  It’s a challenge.  It’s an opportunity.  So if it has been difficult for you in the past and you choose to claim it as an opportunity, because in reality if it’s been difficult for you in the past it is literally an opportunity to strengthen those parts of you that have been atrophied so it can become easy.  Is that true?  So it is literally an opportunity.

 

If all else fails.  That means you are starting on the worst possible case scenario which means that is the temple you are praying at and that’s what you will get more of.  My highest choice is, at least I’ll be able to…  What if you said, at most I’ll be able to….  What would that be like?  Where would your mind be?  What I’m speaking about is literally the minutiae of your thought patterns.  This becomes an active system of meditation through your use of language.  When you do this your life completely changes because your thinking must shift.  It must shift with the language and it becomes an active meditation 24 hours a day.  And as you apply this, your life completely metamorphoses because your thinking does, therefore your reality.  At least, at most.  If/then.  If you go to the dog pound with me, then I’ll buy you lunch.  My choice is I’ll buy you lunch.  When/then.  When my choice is.  Almost/kind of.  I’ll kind of marry you.  I’ll almost marry you.  Is that a commitment?  Do you feel empowered?  You replace that with it is, you are, and that will get you there.  Specifically speak about what it is.  When you take those vague qualities out of your languaging you become more directed, more direct and more committed.  When you are consistently speaking about how something will be and you refuse to claim it now, first of all it’s a fear of feelings.  When you claim it now, you bring it into manifestation and creation now.

 

I keep hammering this one point.  Speak toward, speak toward, speak toward.  Stay out of the story.  If you find yourself going to the I’m not and all the negations you know you’re going into your story.  That’s your red flag.  What you are dwelling on you are creating more of.  Whatever your mind thinks about habitually, you are creating the neurosynaptic networks in your head that create the perceptual filters which makes up how you will immediately respond to the world.  This is how you created your reality.  This is how you created you to be you.  So the more you actually focus on where you’re moving instead of the story about where you’ve been, you create your life out of your heart’s desire. 

 

We can no longer stand in the light of the victim archetype which is cultural through our entire world.  Time is speeding up.  How many of you know the planet is slowing down in rotations?  That the particles rotating around the nucleus of the atoms is actually speeded up.  That the entire foundation of all we know to be real has accelerated.  Does this have an effect on you, then we are manifesting quicker than ever before and that means either heaven or hell.  That’s why this information I feel is very important to get out there.  Unless we provide the conscious choice of the words, feelings and imagination to direct our subconscious mind our habitual, ancestrally influenced thinking and our language which represents that thinking will direct our subconscious mind for us.  The choice we make moment to moment is do we create from our potential outcome or from our past limitations.  We make our choice with every word we speak or think.  Our words are our representation of our thinking.  Our thinking represents the focus of our minds.  The focus of our minds is our prayer.  Whatever your mind focuses upon is the temple at which you are praying.  I love that page.  Transformational choices.  My highest choice leaves our highest vision for the event, circumstance or person as the last thing on the screen of our minds.  I make up, I give meaning to, gives us the reality of being accountable for the filters we perceive our life and relationship through.  I choose: expression of our will and identity moving toward our outcome.  I can: expression of our identity, our will and our potential in choosing our outcome.  I have brings a desired state to now, collapses time from the future to the present.  I am; expression of identity claiming the emotional state of our desire fulfilled.  I create; expression of identity claiming our divine right as co-creators. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez 

 

 

 

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As I sit here late at night at my computer there is one glaring theme that keeps ringing in my head to write to you about and share.   “Our success is in direct portion to our ability to be relationship with others.”   I have been contemplating the deeper and more generative meaning of this statement for a long time.  

If there is one thing I have learned through the years is that life is not a solo journey.  It is done in relationship to many others.   Business here in Australia is fundamentally based upon who you know and yes, you require having a great product or service but rarely, at least in my experience, have contracts ever shown up at my door and asked to come in.  I’ve required to go knocking and through the relationships I have established through the years doing business in Australia, my relationships have always opened the doors to amazing possibilities.

It is fundamental to our success in relationships that we discover the common ground amidst the seeming differences and establishing mutual understanding between people and communication styles whether that be between parents and children, life partner to life partner, husband to wife or director of a large organization to the upper management.  Relationship success means: establishing the sameness between people and witnessing what is inclusive rather than exclusive. The foundation of recognizing the power of your relationships is and forever will be everything to your ability to succeed.

As I work with more and more organizations in both Australia and the United States there is inherent in all the problems a organizations may face, the ever present issue of communication between people.

Organizations spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on systems forgetting that it is the functionality of the people and their relationships with one another that actually make the systems work.   

So how do we bridge the differences between the viewpoints of people who come from such life reference points, each with their individual body of evidence that convinces them that how they see the world is right and correct?

The answer is the CONVERSATION.  My particular brand in conducting corporate training is the ability to facilitate the difficult conversation.  As I continue to facilitate groups in holding the conversations to discover the mutual understanding, the unspeakable is finally spoken and strategies discovered that will finally move the group to action and resolution.

The same holds true for couples, parents and children, any form of relationship success will be based upon this one fundamental principle.  It is so basic, so simple yet most people find it the most difficult thing to do.  

As I watch the culture shift in organizations I am working with and the conversations happen that have been withheld for so long, I often stand in wonder of how beautifully simple and powerful people become when they master the art of the authentic conversation.  These types of conversations can transform companies, marriages, children and the world. 

Here is a brief outline for an authentic conversation.  Begin yours today!!!

The RULES:

1.       If there is problems in your relationships either professionally of personally it is because of the quality of the conversation.  Take responsibility for being half the problem.

2.       Do not interrupt the speaker when they are speaking.

3.       Be in physiological rapport with the speaker.

4.       If you disagree with speaker ask more questions so you can clarify their meaning.

5.       Acknowledge what is being said is valid from the perspective of the speaker and that you can understand how they could feel that way.  

6.       After the speaker is complete say: “May I add my perspective to clarify my position.”

7.       Stay out of defence.

8.       Watch your tone of voice and remember that 38% of the meaning of your communication is the tone of your voice.

9.       Stay out of sarcasm.

10.   Enter the conversation with the intention to empower enrich and clarify.

As I continue to facilitate building the bridges of communication between teams, executives and people struggling in their relationships I have come to one major conclusion.  The true sacred temple is the temple of our relationships.

It is here that we polish off the rough edges of our personalities and begin shifting out of the ancient programming of our past.  It is here that we can begin to create growth in ourselves and prove the evidence that we can and are maturing. 

Every conversation within every relationships is our point of power where we chose in that moment to become more than our past programming and demonstrate our well earned wisdom or we opt to further engrain the patterns of our past that keep us frozen in unworkable strategies that increase our frustration.

Find the common ground and discover the underlining truth that all people desire fundamentally the same things and hold similar values.  Establish what is mutually desired in all the differences between people and how they see their realities.  What you will find in the seeming differences of people is the same heart, with the same desire for peace, joy, love and connection.  HOLD THE CONVERSATION YOU HAVE BEEN AVOIDING. 

 

 

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