Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

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Creating Abundance Through Conversation

Our success or failure is determined by our ability to maintain and strengthen our relationships. Our ability to hold conversations with the intention of enrichment and understanding is at the heart of our relationship success. And relationship success governs our prosperity and happiness.

A key tenet of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) is that the person with the most flexibility becomes the most contributing person to the system in which they belong. When we realize that each person functions from a different set of beliefs, memories, values, and experiences (and therefore drawing their map of reality differently than our own), we must honor the fact that people are looking through different lenses and creating different realities.

Conversations filled with positioning of who is right or wrong or with armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships and fractured families, organizations and teams. The success destined individual, however, knows that by mastering flexibility of perception, she can more authentically honor the unique perspectives of those around her. She can comfortably hold authentic conversations filled with skillful and artful questions. This skill is the cornerstone of continued success in life.

Each of our realities is just as valid as any other person’s, so we require to learn and master the art of flexibility. We require to learn how to enter conversations with the primary intent to understand and empower our relationships while maintaining appropriate boundaries for ourselves. When we enter our conversations with this conscious intention, we can master the art of flexibility and increase our ability to hold authentic conversations, boosting our influence and increasing our own self esteem.

For example, what would your reality be like if you made a pact with yourself to simply stop talking ill of anyone? Try it. Find the highest thing you can say about one another and speak to that. Hold your highest thought for one another even if the other person’s behavior is disappointing to you. The results of this simple exercise are remarkable, remarkable both for you personally and for everyone you touch.

Principles of the Win-Win Conversation

Strengthen and leverage your relationships with these strategies for effective communication.

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify and enrich.
3. Also enter with the intention to empower yourself and the other person equally.
4. Authentically desire a win-win from the conversation.
5. Be accountable for your part in the situation.
6. Be fully and completely present with the other person.
7. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

Perspective Shifting and Finding the Harmony

Ask yourself these questions to establish the intention and outcome for any conversation and steer yourself away from pitfalls that are most commonly entered when two people are seeing through two different lenses.

1. What am I not seeing?
2. Where is my attention?
3. Where am I not being realistic?
4. What could be the positive intention of the other person?
5. How could I look at this differently?
6. How many different perspectives can I take to give me clarity?
7. What is present when I’m at my best?
8. What part of the solution am I?
9. Where might I be in denial?
10. What am I afraid of here, and is it real?
11. What are my false assumptions?
12. Who am I when I speak and act from my heart?
13. What changes will I affect when I show up as who I really am?
14. What is it to be a leader?
15. What am I grateful for in this situation?
16. What is the one thing that I require to say to bring resolution?
17. What am I teaching myself in this situation?

We require to utilize all of the skills available to us such as strong coaching questions, accountable perception, positive intention, and the ability to create rapport at the subconscious level.

By creating this type of environment of safety and trust, we can sustain our happiness and be a light to those who surround us.

Love & Light

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Your Life

Will you pass down chaos or choice?

This life you are leading-a life clothed by your current identity-is an incredible gift. Even if your experience here has been a painful one, realize that it is a spiritual journey, not a stop-off on the way to Heaven or Hell. You absolutely required to be here at this exact moment in history.

As we walk through life in Human Form, we are continuously presented with windows of opportunity to acquire the wisdom of our ancestry. We each have created a soul contract with our mothers and fathers to utilize this earthly existence to deepen our own relationship with the Divine. Your unique family system provides you with a laboratory of joy and pain that can be used to awaken your deepest core wounds so they may be healed and transformed. Through this awakening, you travel a path of finding the answers and creating the healing you require so that you may return back to love.

Our family dynamics were designed and created out of love, no matter how our family systems manifested themselves in this physical reality. We are not victims, and we must know that we can rise above the ancestral dynamic and live life as the designer of own destiny.

The ancestral buck stops with each one of us. We can learn to be co-creators of our reality. We can and should take a stand for creating balance within ourselves, our families, and our communities. We can rise above our ancestral influences and live life from the perspective of choice, not chaos. We can then pass this way of living on to our children, creating a movement of personal accountability from the very young to the aged.

By healing the ancestral patterns, we celebrate the perfection of the order of life. We came through the perfect parents who co-created the perfect circumstances to wound us in the perfect way and create the dynamic tension that would spur each of to begin the quest towards self actualization. The divine order of our family dynamics allows our souls to mature and awakens in us the opportunity to evolve and celebrate. That is the gift.

The Hopis say there is absolutely no past, that everything that ever existed is present right here in the cells of our bodies, that every ancestor that ever lived is resonating in our DNA. You are the culmination of the thought forms of everything that has gone before you. Yet you have the choice to do it differently. You have the choice to overcome the idea of separation and fear. You have the choice to move out of the victim archetype and to be first person accountable for creating your world out of the words you speak, the things you contemplate, and the emotions you choose to feel.

By learning the tools of the science and technology of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology, we can still the stories of our past and awaken the inherent wisdom that is within each of us. The baton is in your hands. The technology is available. It is time to transform our ancestral patterns and awaken to what we came here to be: accountable, empowered, contributive, loving and compassionate to all living things.

Love & Light

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How We Think

We possess the most complex neurological system on the planet. Yet how many teachers have come forward to explain the unique perspectives, beliefs and values that make up our individual character and create diversity in our relationships? What humanity requires is an owner’s manual for the human mind, a tool to teach respect for the differences that exist between us.

Ultimately we are each in a relationship with our individual self, but this relationship occurs within in the context of the communities we live in. We are here not only to live with passion but in congruency with the person we have come here to be. This is our soul purpose, our life mission.

Within our relationships then, we will either strengthen that congruence or weaken it through the way we treat one another. Our lives can be likened to a leaf floating down the river of time. In the currents of the river, we are periodically joined by others. Some of our relationships will last for a long period and some for a short period, but in time we all separate and continue our individual journeys to the sea. We are each here on a solo mission to evolve while also existing in relationships with one another, increasing our ability to love past our fears.

As Buddha said, we go to where our attachments are. So, become attached to very little. Do become attached to the wisdom that you distill from the great classroom of your relationships. Avoid obsession with the things you cannot change or the thoughts that have haunted you.

We know that all things constantly change, so change is the only consistency we have in life. It is not the events that occur in time within our lives that cause the pain, it is the meaning we have assigned to those events—it is this meaning that creates our Heaven or our Hell. Our relationships are where we will create the greatest fulfillment or the greatest regret. It is our mastery of relationships with others that will either release us or imprison us.

Relationships are the laboratory in which we can create tremendous growth by shifting the unhealthy patterns that no longer serve us. In the moment of our difficulties with one another is a holy instant when we can choose our response, perhaps one less habitual and more conscious. We can continue desiring to be right, or we can create a healing of misperceptions. But only you can choose the different path. The other person will do what he or she will, but you can take a stand for your own evolution.

Below are some questions to ask yourself that will help break the patterns of conditioned responses and help you to create new ones during times of challenge in your relationships:

• 1. Am I willing to learn something valuable from this, and am I willing to do something to make it better?
• 2. What is really upsetting me?
• 3. Could this be a misperception on my part, and do I have all possible information?
• 4. What else could this mean? (Try to glean more answers than what you gave in #2.)
• 5. What do I require in order to feel good now?
• 6. How can I communicate my needs in a way that empowers this person? (Hint: timing, clarifying, asking for help, apologizing.)
• 7. Does this person have needs Iâ€^TMve not yet seen? If so, what are they?
• 8. What have I not seen about my own behavior and communication?
• 9. What is great about this?
• 10. Would I rather be right or be happy?

The greatest thing about Humanistic NLP is that itâ€^TMs a science based technology of personal and professional change; HNLP returns us to the quiet memory of who we have come here to be. And it is in our relationships that we will strengthen that purpose. When relating with others, choose your responses carefully, because you create your future from your next highest thoughts about yourself. Choose your actions from a center of knowing that all behavior is either love or a call for it.

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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Pyramid of Time

I know many of us look at setting goals for the year as a tedious process, but we require to always remembering that resting underneath our cranium is the most powerful computer on the planet waiting for the data input. Either we will install exquisite software that expedites the journey or software that is incomplete, flawed, and filled with viruses.

You will get what you focus upon. Like gravity, it is a universal law.

The only reason you have not achieved your goals in the past is because somewhere along the way you lost your focus on them. Make 2007 the year of your power and fulfillment where your heart opens, you contribute more, and you walk your road in a sacred way.

To Become More Present, Ask Yourself:

• 1. What feelings and behaviors do you experience that you no longer desire? What causes you to reach for a new goal?
• 2. In what personal or professional environments do you experience these feelings that you no longer wish to have?
• 3. What are you experiencing specifically? What are you seeing, hearing and feeling when you have the experience you no longer desire?

To Achieve What You Desire, Ask Yourself:

• 1. What is your goal? What do you desire instead?
• 2. Are your goals aligned to your values? What do you value about their achievement? What does the achievement of your goal really do for you?
• 3. What are the milestones between where you are in the present state and the goal that tells you youâ€^TMre on the right track? Set a minimum of three milestones to mark your achievements.
• 4. What will you be seeing, hearing and feeling at each point along the way? Identify the milestone markers.
• 5. Who will you become upon achieving your goal? What will you be seeing, hearing and feeling upon the successful realization of your goal? Be in the emotional state of achieving your goal as if it has already happened; imagine the rewards of your success attained.

Resource Planning

• 1. What resources do you already have that will move you from your present state to your goal and outcome?
• 2. What resources do you require? And how will you get them? Identify your strategy.
• 3. What is the first step today you require to take to achieve your goal and take your life from the present state to the next level of success? Identify the steps you are committed to take for your success.

Thank you again for your willingness to be a part of this amazing community. I am looking forward to meeting many of you face to face in future trainings and voice to voice in future teleseries

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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Build Your Life

HNLP Fundamentals
I talk about how our belief systems are the filters through which we experience reality.

THOUGHT POWER + BELIEF
= EMOTIONS
= BEHAVIOR & ACTION
= REACTION TO THE WORLD
= EGO IDENTITY

This formula explains how we decide who we are, who we have been, and who we will be tomorrow. How, then, can we redesign what is occurring in our minds so as to redesign our lives?

Through time we develop our own map of the world. This map does not represent the world in truth, yet it is the best map we have to assist us in surviving this thing called life. Our map is a culmination of every rationalization we’ve made based upon the evidence we’ve experienced. We are, in effect, meaning-making creatures.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon your point of view the meanings we create are not reality itself but serve only to paint our individual map of reality, flawed and limiting as it may be. At a very young age, we create these mind maps and set about using them to transverse life’s rugged terrain. As we encounter new experiences, we filter the resulting sensory input through what we have already learned about our world. Then one of three things happens:

• 1. We acquire new wisdom from the new experience.
• 2. We interpret the new experience as evidence that our map is true, that it is reality.
• 3. We reject the new experience because it does not fit into our model of the world.

More often than not, we choose either 2 or 3, continuing to navigate our world with an impoverished map of reality. In turn, we create a life with limited choices. This leaves us feeling, thinking, and acting like a victim. Is there a way out of the circle we have been caught in, this wheel that seemingly spins without purpose or direction?

YES! The answer lies within this simple formula and is the foundation of Humanistic NLP:

IMAGINATION + EMOTION + LANGUAGE = MANIFESTATION

A common example of how this dynamic plays out in life is if we have had to endure painful, even abusive, childhoods. It is important to honor the emotions we have carried from those experiences, but it is a further tragedy to spend our adult years continuing unresolved pains of the past as if they were still happening today. The one true thing we can say about the past is that it is no longer here. What is here now, in our adult lives, is our ability to ascribe new meaning to the past, a meaning very different from what we created as children. As children we function with a somewhat limited level of wisdom and resources. As adults, however, we have greater wisdom and resources at our disposal and thus the ability to create deeper understanding of what is possible, of what is real.

The only moment of power is NOW!!! We stand at a cross roads every minute, one road being the addictive thought processes that dwell endlessly in the past, the other road being the blossoming of our potential genius. Each one of us is a thread in the tapestry of Humanity. We have a Destiny to fulfill, a Genius to awaken within, a Potential to realize. Yet, until we master our imagination, emotions, and language, the tapestry continues to be degraded by the absence of our full participation.

Stop wasting time. Whatever has brought you to the reality you now experience, your life remains precious.

 Your destiny is remarkable.

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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