Greetings

I desire to continue with some of the information I began a few blogs ago and that was the power of language and the presuppositions inherent in the words we utilize to express our thoughts. 

I was doing a lecture here in Australia the other night and said that I felt there was a global pandemic, and no it wasn’t the swine flu but the global pandemic of the victim virus.  The audience readily agreed and I continued my presentation about self leadership.  But as I thought more about that statement I realized that most of our victim thinking is caused by the use of a linguistic pattern called Cause and Effect.

An example of this language pattern would be “I don’t trust people because I had abusive parents”, I can’t be success because I didn’t get a college education,”  where something, generally from the past, is the cause of some effect today.  This pattern makes the speaker a victim of something they have no control over today. 

We may have limited choice over situations in our lives but we have major choice over the meaning we ascribe to those situations.  So to help us get out of the conditioned rut of victim thinking utilize language choices such as “MY choice is” or any statement that begins with “I am.”   When you utilize language that is upgraded you will speak toward what you desire to create rather further conditioning yourself to think you are the effect of anything except your own perception.

Utilize some new language choices and let me know what results you get in your thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary

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I’m currently down in Australia teaching and had a interesting experience in one of the seminars I was training.  I was conducting a training entitled “Making Your Relationships Flourish” when I got a revelation about the power of how we demonstrate the relationship with ourselves in the relationship with others. 

I’ve said it before but somehow in this course the meaning went to a whole other level of meaning for me and the students.  What I realized was that because our subconscious mind takes everything literally and personally that the HOW we treat one another, what we say to one another plays a vital role in how we feel about ourselves and what we feel worthy of receiving.  At the depths of who we are is a highly moral being, which knows when we are behaving outside our own deepest held values and when we are in complete congruency.  The way in which we treat and speak about or to one another creates either a feeling of congruency and self worth or a lack of it.  Many people have come to me over the years for coaching about the lack of self worth or self esteem and I know to look to their values and how their actions in their relationships are being demonstrated or not demonstrated to uncover how they continue to re-create low self worth for themselves.   As a consequence of the feelings of low self worth they experience more isolation, more fear, more anger and less success.   A Course in Miracles says “we walk hand in hand into heaven with our Brothers and Sisters.  The importance of that statement carries new weight with me because I suspect that is truer than we can imagine.   Let me know your thoughts about this idea I would love to know your experiences and hear your views.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary

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Why do you say NLP is a science?

This information is not metaphysical mumbo jumbo or blind faith. It’s how the neurology works.  If you know how something works, you can do things to adjust it.  But if you don’t know how your own nervous system works, how you encode your reality, how your past influences you, how you program yourself, then there’s no way to really drive the vehicle of your life in the direction of your heart’s desire. People are floundering out in the world and creating immense suffering which is passed to their children for generation after generation.  Before you know it we have a complete world of dysfunctional people who are in intense pain who will die for the rightness of their illusions.  My vision is to unravel the stories of the past to awaken people to their fullest potential.

How are you different than other NLP Master Practitioners?

I’m different because I am 100% totally committed to changing people’s lives for the better. I desire to help people who, by their own example, can create a community of positive, resourceful, focused and successful people.  They can go out there and positively inspire their families, their friends, and who knows, maybe thousands and thousands of people that I’ll never see or touch.  All it takes is a small group of committed people to change the world.  And that’s the only thing that ever has.

It sounds like you’re putting a spiritual spin on it.

That’s true.  I really believe NLP is just a prop for me to talk about this creative force we call God.  Because above and beyond all of the technology that NLP teaches is another whole level of existence, which is our spiritual body, our spiritual essence, which is why we’re actually here.  But we cannot access those qualities inside of ourselves if our mind is filled with fear, unresolved negative emotions and the drama of our past. 

Until we can literally quiet that fear, we can’t access the truth about ourselves.  So my whole premise is to first give people the tools to quiet their minds so that the natural propensity to be who we are can rise to the surface.  Otherwise people will be in too much fear to be able to quiet themselves enough to do the spiritual work they came here to do. 

So for me everything I’m doing is about building the foundation, how to take people from “I know nothing” to “These are practical skills so I can have more options, so that I’m not totally locked in to my internal hell, and I can start making different choices about myself, my life and my world.”  Once they have that, there’s another whole level of teaching that has to happen. I know this because in my experience, I meditated for years and years, anticipating these huge spiritual awakenings.  I had minor ones, I had unique experiences that are paranormal, but the predominance of my meditation time was stuck in my head, rattling around my past and trying to quell the deep, deep emotions that were running my life. 

I tried for years and years to be this spiritual guy. I went to India; I studied with a guru.  I was meditating two and a half hours a day, from 3 to 5:30 EVERY morning for 15 years and you know what?  It was painful.  And I could not achieve the spiritual level I felt I should be reaching in the spiritual discipline I was involved in because my mind and emotions were completely out of control.

But the instruction I was given at the time was just “Keep meditating, brother.  Just keep meditating.  Use your mantras.”  And I’m like, “No!”  I’m in total agony about my mother, I’m in total agony about my father, and all these incest issues – I got all these repressed sexual feelings, I can’t cope with any of it.  Sitting for two and a half hours at 3 in the morning and falling asleep half the time is NOT going to resolve the issues!  It is about working at the level of the mind with the tools of the mind – that’s how you can awaken who you really are.  So until we can quiet our minds, we really can’t get to our hearts.  And that’s the whole reason I teach what I teach.

Do your teachings go beyond the basic NLP model?

The Master Practitioners at my Center and I teach a whole Life Design^© process – that we can redesign our lives in alignment with a higher reason and a higher function.  But until we’re able to really do it and heal the voices of our past we won’t be able to progress

The more that we continue to dwell on things we can’t do or things from our past, the more we become entrenched in the negatives.  So the focus of our mind is really the definition of our heaven or hell.  And if 97% of the 60,000 thoughts we think a day are about our past, then all we’re doing in our future is simply recreating the structure of our past.

Life Design is literally the tool to quiet the voices of our past so we can wake up to the natural stillness and the natural spirituality that we all are.

Are some people turned off by your focus on spirituality?  Do they think you’re advocating a particular religious doctrine?

Spirituality is not about a denomination or a structure or methodology of practicing worship of God, whatever that is to you.  It could be anything – it could be the wind, it could be Buddha, it could be Mohammad, it could be Christ – it could be anything.  But it’s something bigger than our egos; something larger than the definition of our personality.  When we create a reference point that is   something larger than our ego and our personality, then we start to live at a higher frequency.

How do your Life Design teachings facilitate that?

Our personality is very much like a glass of milk.  When the milk is stirred, meaning when the mind is restless, we’re constantly, habitually thinking about the past.  We think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 97% of them are about the past.  We’re constantly thinking, dwelling, perceiving, interpreting our future through the lens of our past, so that all we really see is our reaction to our unhealed emotional issues from our past in our future, so we keep recreating it.  That’s like the milk being stirred. 

We’re constantly being reactivated neurologically — we’re reactivated by what we perceive through the five senses.  Everything we see, hear, touch, taste or smell, we’re filtering through what memories it evokes from our past. When we still that, when we still the unresolved negative emotions from our past experiences, we reinterpret the internal voices so they’re our cheering section for our success rather than a booing section for what we have as our perceived failures. 

We can turn that around and change that, systematically, scientifically and neurologically, through reimprinting our nervous system through the three principal learning channels of visual, auditory and kinesthetic.  When we do that with the assistance of NLP and Life Design training we still the milk.  When the milk becomes still, then the cream naturally rises to the surface, the richness of who we are naturally comes to the surface.  We don’t have to learn how to be loving or spiritual beings – we already are. It’s the restlessness and the endless jabbering of our minds and our egos, our defenses, our pasts and our distorted filters that cause us not to function from the essence of who we naturally are – which is love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love & Light

Gary De Rodriguez

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Look Within

 

 

 

Creating Abundance Through Conversation

Our success or failure is determined by our ability to maintain and strengthen our relationships. Our ability to hold conversations with the intention of enrichment and understanding is at the heart of our relationship success. And relationship success governs our prosperity and happiness.

A key tenet of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology (HNLP) is that the person with the most flexibility becomes the most contributing person to the system in which they belong. When we realize that each person functions from a different set of beliefs, memories, values, and experiences (and therefore drawing their map of reality differently than our own), we must honor the fact that people are looking through different lenses and creating different realities.

Conversations filled with positioning of who is right or wrong or with armoring for the next attack, will always lead to destroyed relationships and fractured families, organizations and teams. The success destined individual, however, knows that by mastering flexibility of perception, she can more authentically honor the unique perspectives of those around her. She can comfortably hold authentic conversations filled with skillful and artful questions. This skill is the cornerstone of continued success in life.

Each of our realities is just as valid as any other person’s, so we require to learn and master the art of flexibility. We require to learn how to enter conversations with the primary intent to understand and empower our relationships while maintaining appropriate boundaries for ourselves. When we enter our conversations with this conscious intention, we can master the art of flexibility and increase our ability to hold authentic conversations, boosting our influence and increasing our own self esteem.

For example, what would your reality be like if you made a pact with yourself to simply stop talking ill of anyone? Try it. Find the highest thing you can say about one another and speak to that. Hold your highest thought for one another even if the other person’s behavior is disappointing to you. The results of this simple exercise are remarkable, remarkable both for you personally and for everyone you touch.

Principles of the Win-Win Conversation

Strengthen and leverage your relationships with these strategies for effective communication.

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person.
2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify and enrich.
3. Also enter with the intention to empower yourself and the other person equally.
4. Authentically desire a win-win from the conversation.
5. Be accountable for your part in the situation.
6. Be fully and completely present with the other person.
7. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

Perspective Shifting and Finding the Harmony

Ask yourself these questions to establish the intention and outcome for any conversation and steer yourself away from pitfalls that are most commonly entered when two people are seeing through two different lenses.

1. What am I not seeing?
2. Where is my attention?
3. Where am I not being realistic?
4. What could be the positive intention of the other person?
5. How could I look at this differently?
6. How many different perspectives can I take to give me clarity?
7. What is present when I’m at my best?
8. What part of the solution am I?
9. Where might I be in denial?
10. What am I afraid of here, and is it real?
11. What are my false assumptions?
12. Who am I when I speak and act from my heart?
13. What changes will I affect when I show up as who I really am?
14. What is it to be a leader?
15. What am I grateful for in this situation?
16. What is the one thing that I require to say to bring resolution?
17. What am I teaching myself in this situation?

We require to utilize all of the skills available to us such as strong coaching questions, accountable perception, positive intention, and the ability to create rapport at the subconscious level.

By creating this type of environment of safety and trust, we can sustain our happiness and be a light to those who surround us.

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Will you pass down chaos or choice?

This life you are leading-a life clothed by your current identity-is an incredible gift. Even if your experience here has been a painful one, realize that it is a spiritual journey, not a stop-off on the way to Heaven or Hell. You absolutely required to be here at this exact moment in history.

As we walk through life in Human Form, we are continuously presented with windows of opportunity to acquire the wisdom of our ancestry. We each have created a soul contract with our mothers and fathers to utilize this earthly existence to deepen our own relationship with the Divine. Your unique family system provides you with a laboratory of joy and pain that can be used to awaken your deepest core wounds so they may be healed and transformed. Through this awakening, you travel a path of finding the answers and creating the healing you require so that you may return back to love.

Our family dynamics were designed and created out of love, no matter how our family systems manifested themselves in this physical reality. We are not victims, and we must know that we can rise above the ancestral dynamic and live life as the designer of own destiny.

The ancestral buck stops with each one of us. We can learn to be co-creators of our reality. We can and should take a stand for creating balance within ourselves, our families, and our communities. We can rise above our ancestral influences and live life from the perspective of choice, not chaos. We can then pass this way of living on to our children, creating a movement of personal accountability from the very young to the aged.

By healing the ancestral patterns, we celebrate the perfection of the order of life. We came through the perfect parents who co-created the perfect circumstances to wound us in the perfect way and create the dynamic tension that would spur each of to begin the quest towards self actualization. The divine order of our family dynamics allows our souls to mature and awakens in us the opportunity to evolve and celebrate. That is the gift.

The Hopis say there is absolutely no past, that everything that ever existed is present right here in the cells of our bodies, that every ancestor that ever lived is resonating in our DNA. You are the culmination of the thought forms of everything that has gone before you. Yet you have the choice to do it differently. You have the choice to overcome the idea of separation and fear. You have the choice to move out of the victim archetype and to be first person accountable for creating your world out of the words you speak, the things you contemplate, and the emotions you choose to feel.

By learning the tools of the science and technology of Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology, we can still the stories of our past and awaken the inherent wisdom that is within each of us. The baton is in your hands. The technology is available. It is time to transform our ancestral patterns and awaken to what we came here to be: accountable, empowered, contributive, loving and compassionate to all living things.

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