Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

1. There is only two things which motivate human behavior: Love and a call for Love.

2. The agenda of romantic love is to bring light to those childhood wounds left unhealed and to provide an environment to receive and heal those parts of ourselves.

 3. Our behavior is our adaptation to loss.  Change is the catalyst for healing.

4. Our behavior has a positive intention given the resources we have available to us at the time.

5. We are in relationship with ourselves in the context of another.  Our relationships provide us with a mirror in which to see those parts of ourselves we cannot normally see.

6. Authentic communication is the key ingredient for a successful relationship.  If we are hiding our truth in relationship, we disempower ourselves and create a environment of resentment, projection and fear. 

 7. Live from your personal life values with greater congruency between your thought word and deed. The more congruency, the stronger your personal identity.  The stronger your personal identity the healthier the relationship you will create.  You are the common denominator in your relationship history.  When you change your history in relationships will also change.

 8. Understand you distort reality.  Begin your communication with the understanding that you see through your individual filters of your accumulated beliefs and memories.  Be personally accountable for the emotions you are creating based upon the meaning you are giving circumstances in your world.  The map is not the territory.

Join me tomorrow for more fun tools!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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So there were about 150 people in the room and I thought, ‘I can do this.  I’m real transformed, I’ve done all this work, I’ve got it together.’  So I go up there and I’m sitting on the stool and he asked me just one question, ‘Why are you here?’  I said something like, ‘I’m here to transform myself and gain all the tools I require to heal every person I meet and transform the planet.’

 

A lot of people speak like that, right?  So a box of Kleenex and an hour and a half later I got to why I was there.  Have you ever sat witnessing a person’s resistence?  It can be frustrating.  It’s like, ‘Would you just get to it.’  I’m sitting up there and at one point I said, ‘I’m not safe.  I’m not doing this.’  I was speaking that kind of dysfunctional language then.  I was upset.  I had yet to get to what it was and I could feel people’s thought forms being projected toward me from the audience.  I stopped everything and said, ‘If you think I’m going to undress and be naked in front of these people who have judgment, you are nuts.  This space is not safe.’  So what he did was he had everybody stop and repeat silently within themselves, ‘I stand in my light for your victory, Gary.’  And he did that and within ten minutes I got to it.  So do the thought forms of the room affect the person speaking?  Absolutely.

 

What I finally got to, and this is something we’ll be getting to today, from this grandiose, non-personalized conversation I was having about my outcome for being there I got to, I was there to receive the divine love of my mother and my father.  That’s a really big distance from healing the planet.  When I spoke it, every cell in body resonated because in reality that is why I was there.  I was feeling under-loved and under-acknowledged by my parents.  In reality we all have a similar core wound.  So this is what it means to be a committed listening.  When someone is speaking and they’re having a challenge, rather than judge use consciousness in a creative way that heals and by your thoughts think your highest thought for them – and it is a complete gift to yourself.

 

Presuppositions of our higher consciousness – I’m going to read these off and just plow right through them.  As I read these presuppositions they are other than the truth.  It is a choice of perception.  Did you know that the whole theory of evolution is a complete assumption with no empirical data to back it up?  So these are assumptions.  They are perceptions.  They are choice of seeing. 

 

1.  Our higher consciousness matures in wisdom through our life experience.

2.  Our higher consciousness is directly accessible depending upon the focus of our attention.

 

3.  Our higher consciousness has access to information beyond the conscious mind or the subconscious mind.

 

Presuppositions of our conscious mind

 

1.  Our conscious mind has the power of choice.

 

2.  Our conscious mind has conditioned free will to direct or be directed.

 

3.  Our conscious mind can choose unconsciousness or consciousness.  How many of you know that you can just go right to sleep – you can choose to just blank out.

 

4.  Our conscious mind can suppress or express from the subconscious.

 

Presuppositions of our subconscious mind

 

Our subconscious mind has 1 with 8 million miles of half-inch zeros behind it of possibility.  We use about 10% of our mental capacity.  The other 90% lies in the subconscious.  When we learn how to direct it we become very much more potentialized.  I likened the human condition to a chariot.  The horses are the horses of our mind; the chariot is our body.  The charioteer is our spirit and the reins that direct it is our imagination and our language.  When we pick those up we can direct our lives.  Some of our horses are wandering perilously toward a cliff.  Some of them are just hanging out in a field and chomping away and refuse to move.  And some are just wandering aimlessly.  It’s about directing it.

 

1.  Our subconscious mind stores memories temporally and atemporally.

 

2.  Our subconscious mind takes language literally. 

 

3.  Our subconscious mind plays back what it receives like a computer.  So what you are constantly languaging in your internal dialog and your external speech, your subconscious mind is taking it literally and will feed it back like a computer. 

 

4.  Our subconscious mind responds to feelings.

 

5.  Our subconscious mind responds to repetition very much like a record.  We run this groove and whatever we are habitually thinking that is the reality we will live in.

 

6.  Our subconscious mind runs the body through the autonomic nervous system. 

 

7.  The subconscious mind is a highly moral being and it prompts us to be a highly moral being.  It is the part of us that says, ‘Please don’t do that.’ 

 

8.  Our subconscious mind attracts experiences to us according to our beliefs. 

 

I was asked to teach something about how people get that they make up their own reality.  I talked for a couple of hours about filters and how we make up our own reality and the meaning we give something creates our heaven or our hell.  So I hired a strapping stud and this beautiful woman to come in and strip to Aretha Franklin.  After 3 hours of lecture I told the class, ‘I’m going to provide you an experience.  Take notes and write down how you’re filtering and giving meaning to this experience so that you see the reality you’re giving it actually creates your own reality and many other people will get a different sense and a different interpretation and therefore will create a whole different response. You’ll really get it.’  So the strippers came in and took off their clothes down to a g-string and they left.  Some people thought it was the most amazing experience.  Other people blew out of the training saying, ‘This is the most unprofessional – I can’t believe I was subjected to this.’  The meaning you give something is the heaven or the hell that you make up.  It’s all made up. 

More to come tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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Events are empty unto themselves and our perspectives ascribe the meaning to them which will either transform them into personal and professional benefits or perpetuate our distortion.  Our distortions are generated from the collective experience of our past, therefore the First LAW for a Fulfilling Life is: Transform your past to be Your Greatest Ally for Your Future.

 For any of us to be successful, personally and professionally, we require powerful and trusting alliances within our relationships.  The primary hierarchy of importance in our relationships is first, relationship to oneself.  The second is relationship to others, and the third is relationship to a deeper purpose for which your life contributes back.   Relationships with others are based upon our ability to effectively communicate and our communication is based upon the level of rapport and trust we are capable of establishing.

 One extraordinarily important principle for organizations and families to recognize is each member of the organization affects others and will enhance or contaminate the culture.   According to the Heart Math Research Institute, each individual emanates a resonate field of energy measurable by science that affects other people around them.  This resonate field is created by the overall emotional states the person feels continually.

 The health of your family or your company is based upon the collective thinking patterns of the members within it.  Each person affects the whole of the environment in which they dwell, whether it is home or office, with their thoughts, the language that represents those thoughts and the emotions they produce as a consequence.  Does it make sense that fundamental Life skills to transform thinking and emotions are required for our personal, spiritual and financial success?

 I was conducting a series of trainings for a prominent pharmaceutical company in California in their global safety department, which consisted of approximately twenty highly skilled doctors and research scientists.

The VP of the department had contacted me and communicated that the culture within the department was sliding downhill fast.  The staff was under tremendous pressure with long work hours and impossible deadlines.  The extra stress of personality conflicts was the straw that would break the camel’s back. His primary concern was that he would begin losing his highly qualified staff he had worked so hard to recruit.

   I arrived on the grounds of the company which was like a mini city in its entirety.  With walking paths, child care, a gymnasium, a pool and overlooking the Pacific Ocean:  A rather stunning place to work.

 As I enter the training room and met the team I noticed one individual in the room who seemed defensive and withdrawn before I even opened my mouth.  The team was cordial, alert, but reserved.  As I began the presentation this one individual would barely participate, distracted others and was in overall resistance to learning the communication tools I was presenting. 

 Rather than leave a contaminating personality in the room with the other willing participants, I firmly, and respectfully, asked him to leave the training room.  With every organization I have the privilege of working with, I reserve this right.

 As soon as this doctor left the training room the entire room took a collective breath simultaneously.  The energy of the room relaxed and I observed the tension leaving the bodies of the members of the team.  I stood there wondering could this one individual have this much influence on the stress levels and the growing negative culture of the department.

 I merely had to ask one simple question: “How are you all feeling now?”

Like a monsoon of information, each person shared their frustration with this individual.  He was recently recruited and was one of the medical heads of the department which required much of the work to be approved by.  Story after story came forward about how difficult it was to accomplish the workload after his arrival and how the management could not see it.

 Resentment had built toward the VP, communication lessened because of resentment and the VP did not have enough information to take action. 

The remainder of the trainings went effectively and the culture shifted dramatically after the enactment of the communication tools which were taken onboard by the team.  The resistant doctor entered a coaching program with me, through the request of the VP.  The core experiences which drove his behavior were uncovered and resolved, resulting in him becoming a functional part of the team.  

 My belief is that people affect other people and each one of us has the responsibility to become fully matured in our relationship to ourselves.  By taking responsibility for our own emotional states, getting clarity, having effective conversational and negotiation skills while ceasing the destructive positioning for power and the need to be right, we can reach that mature state in our relationship to ourselves.  Each one of us requires to become fully self aware and have the tools to shift our beliefs, transform our past experiences to retain the wisdom rather than the resentment.  Each one of us requires to become fully responsible for the filters we see our world through, so that we can become as free as we can from over reacting emotions and distortions.

 We require to learn the art of entering into our communication with a genuine desire to enrich our business and personal relationships with authentic conversations and accountability for our emotional states.  When we exhibit flexibility in our approach to others, we view the diversity of other peoples’ perspectives, with understanding and grace, while creating peace within ourselves.

 Here are some foundational principles:

 Principles:

1. Be in physiological rapport with the other person so you have the ability to create an unconscious connection during the conversation.

2. Enter the conversation with the intention to clarify, enrich and empower yourself, and the other person equally.

3. Authentically desire that a win-win occur from the conversation.

4. Be accountable for your part in creating any disagreements in the situation

5. Be fully focused and completely present with the other person.

6. Know that you are creating your own emotional responses and that you have a choice.

 Before you enter a conversation that is important to you, clarify your outcomes with the following questions when you enter the conversation:

 Setting Outcomes:

1. What do you desire?

2. If we both got what we desired what would that look like?

3. What would be your highest choice for the situation?

4. What would it take to make us both feel great?

5. What do you require to feel like we both won?

6. What is your outcome for our conversation?

 Our relationships are the temple we reveal our emotional intelligence and our relationship with ourselves.  The more we can enter our conversations with awareness the greater our relationships will blossom, the more effective we will become and the higher our self esteem and self worth will rise. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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