Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

1. There is only two things which motivate human behavior: Love and a call for Love.

2. The agenda of romantic love is to bring light to those childhood wounds left unhealed and to provide an environment to receive and heal those parts of ourselves.

 3. Our behavior is our adaptation to loss.  Change is the catalyst for healing.

4. Our behavior has a positive intention given the resources we have available to us at the time.

5. We are in relationship with ourselves in the context of another.  Our relationships provide us with a mirror in which to see those parts of ourselves we cannot normally see.

6. Authentic communication is the key ingredient for a successful relationship.  If we are hiding our truth in relationship, we disempower ourselves and create a environment of resentment, projection and fear. 

 7. Live from your personal life values with greater congruency between your thought word and deed. The more congruency, the stronger your personal identity.  The stronger your personal identity the healthier the relationship you will create.  You are the common denominator in your relationship history.  When you change your history in relationships will also change.

 8. Understand you distort reality.  Begin your communication with the understanding that you see through your individual filters of your accumulated beliefs and memories.  Be personally accountable for the emotions you are creating based upon the meaning you are giving circumstances in your world.  The map is not the territory.

Join me tomorrow for more fun tools!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

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Now, I’m going to tell you a story because it bears telling.  I gave up 3 packs of Marlboro longs a day and all my drug use in a 24 hour period of time.  I went to this concert.  I was clean and sober that night.  I was sitting in the front row of a Donovan concert – it was during the Maharishi day show – and Donovan comes out and he looked down at me in the front row and he said, ‘You are wasting time.’  And then he went back to tuning up his sitar.

 

I just sat there.  I took my pack of cigs out and from that moment, I went home, broke all my needles, flushed all my drugs down the toilet.  I went out on a hillside and cried in the rain all night – just weeping.  Changed my life.

 

I’m going to tell you a story because it is a refrain for all of us in the room who may have wounds from our childhood about the story.  This is my experience and this is what shaped how these trainings came to be.  My mother was a beautiful woman.  At the same time she was very emotionally unbalanced – an alcoholic and a prescription drug abuser.  She did a lot of things that in my world, if you had met me 23 years ago I would have said, ‘Hi, my name is Gary and my mother completely screwed my life up.’  My life was about being a victim of her behavior.  She used to slit her wrists and then wait for me to come home.  I would walk in the door as a little boy and there would be blood everywhere.  I’d be in trauma for weeks on end.  This happened repeatedly.  She would do this thing I used to call phone torture where she would call me every hour on the hour from 11:00 until 6 in the morning saying, ‘I’m going to kill myself.’  And then I thought I had to answer the phone because if she really did it that time how could I live with myself if I hadn’t answered the phone.  So I had sleep deprivation and this went on for years.  When she died she created this amazing form of cancer that even the Stanford Cancer Institute had never seen before.  And from diagnosis to death was two weeks.  I slept in the hospital room with her the last three days she was alive and on her death bed she would repeat, in an endless mantra, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.  She lived the last 20 years of her life drinking in my sister’s basement, living in my sister’s basement, babysitting and picking up men in bars.  The way her validation was was, ‘I am beautiful, I am desirable, and my only self worth is by the men I can attract.’  So this was my mother’s scenario. 

 

About 4 years after she passed I was sitting with a good friend of mine, Kathy Hern, who is a minister of Science and Mind Church here in San Diego and she asked me something about my mother.  The spiritual center of the body they call the third eye, the ability to see into other realms or other vibrations.  When she asked that my third eye just let go and opened up and I could see into a whole other plane of existence.  And I said to Kathy, ‘Hold on.  I’m having a vision.’  And I could see her just like I can see you but at the same time I could see into another dimension and my mother came out of this mist.  The wind was blowing through her hair, she was dressed in white robes looking really beautiful and she said, ‘Son, I loved you so much I lived the life I lived to show you how not to live.  And I died the death I died to show you how not to die.  Choose the right path.’  She receded into the mist, my third eye closed and I sat back and thought, ‘I can no longer live out of my story.’  Because what that statement said was that everything that was ever done was to propel me into doing something greater with my life.  It does not discount that my ego and my body suffered, but what those experiences did to the honing and the wisdom of my soul is something far different.  Because could I get up in front of you and speak from the conviction I speak from if I did not have that depth of feeling.  My mother trained me well.  Because at her time of death, I sat there and watched her die, and being the Ph.D. in co-dependency in the past at that time, I was in mortal torture from an inability to help and I said to myself, ‘I will never die like that.’  I will step into places where I’m terrified and I will do it anyway.  And I have.  When she appeared and said she had died the death she died to show me how not to die, I thought, ‘Well, no kidding!’  Because that was the exact conclusion I made four years earlier.

 

What this presupposes is that we made up the entire story out of the limitations and the fear of the child based upon the wisdom, intelligence and experience we had as a child.  We made it up the best we knew how to make it up and perhaps the truth of it is there is something far higher going on here than meets the eye.  In quantum physics they’ve proven that there are five separate levels of reality operating, vibrating, at a different frequency than we can perceive, vibrating simultaneously with a physical reality.  They have proven it mathematically.  If that’s true then there is something far greater going on here.  What you take with you at the time of death is your learnings and your wisdom.  And if that’s true, then the experiences you’ve gone through is for the honing and the maturing of your spirit.  What if your mother and your father made an agreement with you to love you so much that they lived a life to show you how not to live and to create experiences that would hone your spirit so that you would make the vibrational choice to do it differently.  And because when we passed through the Sea of Forgetfulness and we came into the body that we forgot and we got stuck in our story.  We’ve occupied our minds in these precious years with the story rather than distilling the wisdom from what’s being demonstrated to us so that we can fulfil our life mission.  We get to just be in moment, in this next breath.  The way to happiness is to know your life purpose and your life mission and eat it, breathe it, speak it, think it, consistently.  Your actions, your behaviors will follow.  You will naturally evolve to be who you are destined to be.  We have this opportunity, called our life expression, to do it differently.  Waste no more time on the story.  When we get to the end of our days and we look back over our lives leaving the body, our parents greet us at the gates and they say, ‘You forgot.’  What if they say, ‘You remembered!’

(To be continued on tomorrows Blog)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguuez

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Through the last fifty years of leadership study, leadership scholars have modeled the most effective leadership strategies of the great leaders of our time, attempting to create a leadership strategy that can be utilized by all.

 

Although modeling others greatness can add to our knowledge, it is not us.  It is not our life experience, our hearts, and our spirits that can be remolded into another’s life lessons.  Can we learn information? Yes.  But if that is all we are bringing to the table of our teams and organizations then the people with whom we are choosing to have the greatest effect upon will sense the inauthentic foundation to our leadership abilities and we will exhibit an imitation of leadership rather than leadership qualities grounded in experience that people will desire to follow.

   

To distill the wisdom from our life experiences with humanity and heart is the true core quality of sustainable leadership.  Once you have master the ability to take your wisdoms and mold them into relationship strategies, communication and negotiation models with a deep desire to honor all, then you are beginning to birth forth and mature your authentic leader within.

 

There are three laws to awakening your Authentic Leader within.

 

 

 

Law #1 = Your relationship with yourself.

This law is essential to mastering the other two laws and is foundational to a balanced life between work, family and your life purpose.

Have you cleared the skeletons out of your closet? Have you transformed your limiting beliefs and fears from your past?  Are you more reactive than proactive? Are the filters that you perceive life through clear of the distortions of your past or are they so muddled with your past unresolved issues that much of what you experience internally is a repeating pattern of responses that do not reflect who you really are.

The first law is = Master your mental and emotional self and bring your word, thought and actions into alignment with your highest values so you live from congruence and consistency.

 

 

Law #2 = Your relationship with others.

This is were the rubber hits the road in all factors of leadership.  You must have masterful relationship skills, communication skills and conflict resolution skills.  If we do not have our internal emotional worlds matured, we can never become the leaders we are called upon to be, either in our families or organizations.

Have you mastered the models of effective communication?  How often do you insist upon an authentic conversation with those around you who are hiding their agendas?

Do you know what to do when people are creating their secret emotional contracts with you and holding and projecting their agendas on you without your knowledge?

How do now handle all the unspoken demands upon you? How do you now deal with the hallucinations of others that are placed on you daily because of your position, both in your organization and your families?

All leaders require the best tools to navigate their way through the landscape of relationships.  This is the #2 focus of all effective leaders.

 

 

Law #3 = Your relationship to the Sacred

Have you forgotten who you are and what brings peace to your heart?  This is the law of re-grounding yourself in the experience of what all your efforts are for anyway?

Who are you? What have you really come here to do?  What is your purpose and mission in life?

At the end of the day we all will face that point in time when we will stop and wonder did we really do what our souls came here to do or did we waste our life accumulating wealth and power but our hearts are filled with fear and there is a deep knowing somehow we missed the mark?

This is the law that is very personal to each person but it is to ground ourselves in our personal relationship to whatever we consider sacred for ourselves and develop a relationship of connecting to It, and being part of a larger purpose that is greater than our desires.   

 

Integrating these laws into your everyday life is essential for effective living.  Every leader has abilities they have developed through the course of their life experience that has gotten them to where they are today.  These 3 Laws are the ways to take you to the next level of life balance and fulfillment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

 

 

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Today, we’re going to do a process called The Theater Of Change.  It’s based on the NLP phobia technique and one of my thoughts is that we are this amazing being that has a whole series of pictures, sounds and feelings via our internal representational systems and that these internal representational systems act as drivers for much of our behavior and how we hold our reality.  They create our heaven or our hell based upon what we focused upon.

 

What we’re going to do is shift the pictures, sounds and feelings of our past.  It’s going to happen by partnering with me. Based upon the focus of your mind and your desire you can make many changes to the history that has blocked you.

 

So those of you who have had in the past seemingly poor visualization skills, you actually have great visualization skills.  Just take the specific modality that you’re representing your experiences from, whether it’s kinesthetic or auditory, give a symbol to what those sounds or those feelings are and visualize that way.  Remember, the subconscious takes things very metaphorically and symbolically.  So imagine you are going to enter the theater of your past.  You wrote the movie, you starred in it, you produced it.  You are the maker of the internal representations of your entire experience from conception to now.  You made it up and you can edit the movie.

 

So when you’re ready to just allow yourself to go into a more focused and concentrated state within yourself just imagine yourself entering the theatre.  Uncross your arms and your legs so the energy flows freely in your body and we’re going to go inside your imagination allowing yourself the opportunity to allow those parts of you that know how to change to begin to change.  And what I’d like to suggest to your collective subconscious minds is that it now has an opportunity to begin to meet its highest prime directive by allowing a process that can be very quick and very powerful to begin to shift and change the unresolved emotions of the past in a way that is easy and comfortable, knowing that the highest prime directive of your subconscious mind is to preserve the body.  And as I speak to your collective subconscious I’d like to suggest to your subconscious to know that any stress caused by unresolved emotions is less than optimal for the human body. 

 

So as your subconscious mind begins to understand the opportunity it has, your conscious mind can begin to drift, drifting to a place of focused concentration where your conscious mind can begin to let go.  That’s right.  Just letting go in a way that’s right for you.  Letting go in a way that is comfortable for you as your subconscious begins to understand the opportunity it has now.

 

  So allow your  body to relax, allowing all the sounds you hear, and the sound of your breath entering and exiting your body, allowing yourself to feel the surface on which you’re sitting, awareness of how your hands, your arms, your legs, your feet are and allowing a sensation of just letting go.

 

And as you continue to focus your mind, imagine that you are now in a theater, a theater looking up at the screen and as you look at that screen, sitting in the theater, imagine a part of you, the observer part, the part of you that’s in control, can lift up out of that body sitting in the theater, and sit in the projection room of that theater. Your able to see your body watching the screen in the theater but your also sitting in the projection room.

 

 And imagine now being in the projection room looking down at your body watching the screen and just breathe and be there in the theater with your imagination.   We’re going to review a film.  This is the film of your life.  You starred in it, you produced it, you directed it.  You’re going to edit it now.

 

 I’d like to suggest to your subconscious mind that all of the positive learning’s from your life, is preserved in that place that you retain for such learning’s.  Allowing all of those learning’s to beautifully and generatively contribute to your life from this point forward.  Allowing your subconscious mind through the internal representations that you have carried up to now to begin to shift and change in such a way that allows you now to have a different set of pictures, sounds and feelings which promote and produce the necessary internal representations to fulfill your life purpose in the optimum manner, according to your destiny. 

 

So imagine now that we’re in the projection room and we’re going to watch the film of your life, the film from conception until now.  It will take approximately 3 minutes to watch this film. 

Now imagine in the editing room as we’re going to review your film that there is a very large white paint brush that is filled endlessly with white-out.  I’m going to ask you to run your film in a moment, because I think we can make a better one.  What do you think?  We’re going to run your film and we’re going to white out all the frames of the film that have had a negative impact upon you and your future, preserving all the positive learning’s from your entire life span of time.

The curtains are beginning to open on the screen, the part of you who controls things  can now be ready to flip on the switch of the projector and allow your  film to begin to roll from conception to now.

 

Are you ready to change things?  Begin now.  Turn the film on and run the film in Black and White only.  Review your life as it happened from conception or birth to now. Paint white paint on the film and start whiting out every single frame that is the history of what has been stopping you.

Do that now and let the film roll until the end which means you have reached now. 

 

We’re going to run the movie backwards.  And distort the pictures sounds and therefore the feelings of the movie of your life.  Only the characters, and the internal representations in this film that you desire to change are going to change, all positive frames of the picture will remain the same.  The scenes and characters you are changing will be speaking backwards, the sounds will be backwards creating a new sound track for the movie, the characters will be walking backwards.  You can place Mickey Mouse ears on each one of them and a ballerina skirts on each one of them.  Also coupled with this you can put an elephant’s trunk on the faces of every character you desire to change in this film. 

 

Are you ready to have fun with the past? Remember the only way the past is still alive is in just a series of pictures sounds and feelings. Start the movie from the present now and run your movie backwards, rewinding the movie back to the beginning at birth or conception and filling in the empty frames you desire to change with all the new characters and sounds and feelings. Run the movie in full color leaving all the positive scenes as they are.  Do it now. Repeat the above process three times by fast forwarding in Black and white adding a coat of white out to all frames of the movie that require to be re-translated and imagined until the movie looks great with empty frames and positive memories.  Rewind the film distorting the characters and making the movie in full Color, almost funny and rewind back to the beginning filling all the empty frames that use to represent your past pain into a fun character filled funny sounding movie of your new life..

 

  

Bring your movie back to the very beginning where you originally started.

The better you imagine the more successful the re-imprinting of the past.

 

Now we going to add more resources to the movie. So as you stand at the beginning of the possibility to re-imagine the characters, the pictures, sounds and feelings, creating a new sound track, creating new characters in bright, vivid color, in the color of your circle of excellence and oneness.  We are going to place the qualities of that circle of oneness and we’re going to create new characters of your past where all of the characters are behaving and acting out of their circle of oneness with the heart, the compassion, the connection and the love of the essence of who they have eternally been.  All characters will be performing out of their circle of oneness and true self.  And your new film will take on the color of your circle of oneness. 

 

Create this new film in bright vivid color with every character acting out of their highest connection to whatever is divine in life.  When you’re ready you will begin your new film based in the color and the qualities of your circle of oneness.

Begin re-imagining your life now in the light of all your finest qualities and run the movie up until now.   Once at now, begin to rewind your film at high speed back to the beginning adding in more color, emotions and beautiful sounds.  Back to the beginning. 

 

Now we’re going to run your film through again.  This time we’re adding Steven Spielberg special effects, the highest quality of special effects.  Thx sound.  Make it three dimensional.  Make wind blowing.  Make symphonies playing.  You are just going to enhance these pictures so vividly, so powerfully with so much emotion into every single aspect of this film.  When you are ready, run the film through again and put in the most amazing colors in the color of your circle of oneness and each character acting out of the script of following their circle of oneness.  Run the film again please.  Enhance every frame.  More powerful.  More loving.  More compassionate.

 

Now that we’ve created new internal representations of your past, let’s bring this process to a gentle close  and allow your attention to return  to the now.

 

Now why and how does this process actually work?  The only way you know that you’re you is by the pictures, sounds and feelings in your head.  That’s it!  You’ve got eye patterns that retrieve your memories and go, ‘remember – this is what happened to you.   What if your eye patterns retrieve memories where all you saw was your circle of oneness flowing through every single memory of your past? 

 

 

The next opportunity we can take to explore our ability to shift the internal representations of our lives, is the concept of time.  In the quantum field time really doesn’t exist at all.  It is a construction of measurement. Time is very much like a river of life.  If we become attached to very little, or avoid becoming obsessed with the mundane, or things we cannot change, we begin to us our focus of mind beneficially.

 When we understand the river of time we will know that all things change constantly and is the only thing consistent that we have. It is not the events that occur in time within our lives that cause the pain, it is the meaning we have given those events that create either our heaven or our hell. It is the focus of our minds that either release us or imprison us.

Time is like a river, and the events in our lives are like leaves floating past us. What leaves do we choose to pick up and examine. For how long…And which do we choose to let flow by us.  The answer to this question will determine our degree of happiness.

 

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That is a credo I live by and I thought it was worth sharing with you before we discuss the power of language in this week’s feature article. Those of us who study the principles of NLP understand, on a very deep level, that language is much more than mere words we eject into our environment. Language is a force unto itself and it dwells between us, around us, and inside us.

As someone who spends a lot of time traveling and speaking to people all over the world, I’ve come to appreciate the power of language and its ability to transform people. But my real work comes when I am able to help people quiet the dialogue they have with themselves each day, when I can help them then recreate that conversation into something completely realigned with a new dream for their reality.

I am constantly amazed and saddened by how many people in the western world are living in war zone conditions, conditions occurring nowhere but in the grey matter between their ears. Our world seems so chaotic, so random, and so unfair at times that it is difficult to believe we each have the power to effect positive and lasting change. Yet until the individual resolves the war within, there will be war without. And until you align the language of your mind and the words from your lips with the reality you desire, peace cannot be.

So, I think the world really can become a better place, a few words at a time.

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