Pyramid of Time
Now, I’m going to tell you a story because it bears telling. I gave up 3 packs of Marlboro longs a day and all my drug use in a 24 hour period of time. I went to this concert. I was clean and sober that night. I was sitting in the front row of a Donovan concert – it was during the Maharishi day show – and Donovan comes out and he looked down at me in the front row and he said, ‘You are wasting time.’ And then he went back to tuning up his sitar.
I just sat there. I took my pack of cigs out and from that moment, I went home, broke all my needles, flushed all my drugs down the toilet. I went out on a hillside and cried in the rain all night – just weeping. Changed my life.
I’m going to tell you a story because it is a refrain for all of us in the room who may have wounds from our childhood about the story. This is my experience and this is what shaped how these trainings came to be. My mother was a beautiful woman. At the same time she was very emotionally unbalanced – an alcoholic and a prescription drug abuser. She did a lot of things that in my world, if you had met me 23 years ago I would have said, ‘Hi, my name is Gary and my mother completely screwed my life up.’ My life was about being a victim of her behavior. She used to slit her wrists and then wait for me to come home. I would walk in the door as a little boy and there would be blood everywhere. I’d be in trauma for weeks on end. This happened repeatedly. She would do this thing I used to call phone torture where she would call me every hour on the hour from 11:00 until 6 in the morning saying, ‘I’m going to kill myself.’ And then I thought I had to answer the phone because if she really did it that time how could I live with myself if I hadn’t answered the phone. So I had sleep deprivation and this went on for years. When she died she created this amazing form of cancer that even the Stanford Cancer Institute had never seen before. And from diagnosis to death was two weeks. I slept in the hospital room with her the last three days she was alive and on her death bed she would repeat, in an endless mantra, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die. She lived the last 20 years of her life drinking in my sister’s basement, living in my sister’s basement, babysitting and picking up men in bars. The way her validation was was, ‘I am beautiful, I am desirable, and my only self worth is by the men I can attract.’ So this was my mother’s scenario.
About 4 years after she passed I was sitting with a good friend of mine, Kathy Hern, who is a minister of Science and Mind Church here in San Diego and she asked me something about my mother. The spiritual center of the body they call the third eye, the ability to see into other realms or other vibrations. When she asked that my third eye just let go and opened up and I could see into a whole other plane of existence. And I said to Kathy, ‘Hold on. I’m having a vision.’ And I could see her just like I can see you but at the same time I could see into another dimension and my mother came out of this mist. The wind was blowing through her hair, she was dressed in white robes looking really beautiful and she said, ‘Son, I loved you so much I lived the life I lived to show you how not to live. And I died the death I died to show you how not to die. Choose the right path.’ She receded into the mist, my third eye closed and I sat back and thought, ‘I can no longer live out of my story.’ Because what that statement said was that everything that was ever done was to propel me into doing something greater with my life. It does not discount that my ego and my body suffered, but what those experiences did to the honing and the wisdom of my soul is something far different. Because could I get up in front of you and speak from the conviction I speak from if I did not have that depth of feeling. My mother trained me well. Because at her time of death, I sat there and watched her die, and being the Ph.D. in co-dependency in the past at that time, I was in mortal torture from an inability to help and I said to myself, ‘I will never die like that.’ I will step into places where I’m terrified and I will do it anyway. And I have. When she appeared and said she had died the death she died to show me how not to die, I thought, ‘Well, no kidding!’ Because that was the exact conclusion I made four years earlier.
What this presupposes is that we made up the entire story out of the limitations and the fear of the child based upon the wisdom, intelligence and experience we had as a child. We made it up the best we knew how to make it up and perhaps the truth of it is there is something far higher going on here than meets the eye. In quantum physics they’ve proven that there are five separate levels of reality operating, vibrating, at a different frequency than we can perceive, vibrating simultaneously with a physical reality. They have proven it mathematically. If that’s true then there is something far greater going on here. What you take with you at the time of death is your learnings and your wisdom. And if that’s true, then the experiences you’ve gone through is for the honing and the maturing of your spirit. What if your mother and your father made an agreement with you to love you so much that they lived a life to show you how not to live and to create experiences that would hone your spirit so that you would make the vibrational choice to do it differently. And because when we passed through the Sea of Forgetfulness and we came into the body that we forgot and we got stuck in our story. We’ve occupied our minds in these precious years with the story rather than distilling the wisdom from what’s being demonstrated to us so that we can fulfil our life mission. We get to just be in moment, in this next breath. The way to happiness is to know your life purpose and your life mission and eat it, breathe it, speak it, think it, consistently. Your actions, your behaviors will follow. You will naturally evolve to be who you are destined to be. We have this opportunity, called our life expression, to do it differently. Waste no more time on the story. When we get to the end of our days and we look back over our lives leaving the body, our parents greet us at the gates and they say, ‘You forgot.’ What if they say, ‘You remembered!’
(To be continued on tomorrows Blog)
Love & Light
Gary De Rodriguuez
Tags: Aboriginal, abundance, accountable, Add new tag, body language, creation, HNLP, NLP, sacred moment, self awareness, self leadership