Spiritual NLP Blog | Neuro-Linguistic Programming | Change Your Life | Gary de Rodriguez, Dallas, TX

We have all grown into the identities we are, in the emotional pool of our ancestors.  Our parents within the environment of their parents and their parents within theirs, down through the generations until the family triumphs and tragedies come to a still point in our life expression.  The question is: do we continue the legacy of our ancestors through our actions, beliefs and valves or do we cull those inherited beliefs and values so we can turn our past into our greatest ally.  

This book is written to awaken the curiosity of the reader to a larger picture.  A spiritual perceptive of family, life purpose ,grace, order and share practical useable TOOLS to shift our personal tragedies to our greatest triumphs and create a life of personal fulfillment and contribution. 

Contained within these pages are TOOLS which work. 

As a man thinketh so he becomes”

 

Here is my journey of discovering the secret message of my family system and it’s spiritual significance for my the evolution of my heart and soul.

 My search for answers to the pain of how to emotional cope as a young adult and become a self responsible member of society was overwhelming to me as a young man.  I began the use of drugs at a young age of 14 and progressed from wine and marijuana to intervenes drug use by 16. 

Many people wonder why individuals fall into drug or alcohol addiction. I can only speak for myself.  It was the pain I carried about what had happened in my family.

The lack of, loss of and betrayal of love that I had witnessed. The insanity, drug and alcohol use I was subjected to and standing witness to what once was love between my parents turn into this dark expression of violence, hatred, attempted murder, suicide attempts and betrayal.

My mother grew more and more desperate, afraid and unbalanced as I matured.  She had built her identity on being a mother and wife.  As my father retired from the navy and began college my mother became more threatened by his distance and expansion and the drinking began.  Her role as a mother was simultaneously changing as my brother and myself were maturing. 

The damage her fear of the loss of love caused within the family was complete and devastating.

I spent many years of my youth in clinical shock from the behaviors of my mothers overwhelming fear she was losing the only thing that ever loved her, her family.

I witnessed how the lack of love and compassion can drive a person to madness.

The role I took was to become my mothers best friend and psychotherapist at the age of eleven.

My way of surviving the lack of love was to do my best to balance what I saw to missing. The conversation, the reassurance and time.  This dynamic continued in the house until I entered high-school and my parents divorced, and continued in my personal relationship with my mother until her death.

 

The purpose for my drug use was to break me free from the fear, anger and deep sadness. I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation and give me any other experience than the ones I had been experiencing in my family.

My drugs of choice were crystal methamphetamine, LSD  and opium.  I moved to Hollywood as soon as I graduated from High school with two female friends.  We were going to make a life in L.A. One of my friends developed a very expensive heroin habit of a couple thousand dollars a day while I was heading for a emotional breakdown at the tender age of 17.  Through the drug use and fear, I eventually fell apart. 

My Father saved me.  He let me move back to San Diego to begin junior college.  He gave me a car and a very inexpensive place to live to begin my life new.  The depression at this part of my life was so severe that I would wake up in my furniture less apartment, walk down stairs, lay on the carpet and stare out the windows watching the clouds roll by until night fall.  When the sun set and I was laying in darkness, I would then get up, go back upstairs and fall asleep to begin the same cycle over again the next day.  I lived off food stamps and ate fruit from a orange tree and apricot tree in the back yard of the in-law apartment I was living in. My fear was overwhelming. People terrified me and I felt I did not have the ability to even hold a conversation. Basically I couldn’t think any longer.  Through the use of drugs, especially crystal, I had lost the ability to formulate a logical process of thought.  My greatest fear was, I had damaged myself to such a extent, that I would be unable to take care of myself and therefore how would I survive.  At this time I began to seek spirituality. 

It took another year of being lost in drugs before the night would come which would wake me up.  It was during this period I began to have spiritual experiences.  I have been given several throughout my life which have metamorphosed the way I view and experience my world.

The first such experience happened in a concert.  My girlfriend at the time had purchased front row tickets to a Donovan concert.  I was smoking three packs of Marlboro longs a day and still using intravenous drugs.  I was becoming very addicted to the ceremony of shooting-up drugs. If I was out of drugs I would shoot-up warm sugar water for a rush and the ritual of a needle in my arm. At the time I had access to a very fine grade of opium which was just one grade shy of heroin.  This had become my drug of choice.  I had chosen to be drug free for the concert because Donovan was more about spirituality and meditation than the most of the concerts I had attended. 

As I waited for the concert to begin I had no clue that this was the night I would make one of the greatest changes of my life.  When Donovan emerged from backstage he sat down in a sea of flowers and began turning up his Sitar.  Remember this was 1970.  As He was preparing to start the concert, He stopped and looked at me for a moment.  He then pointed to me and said “You are wasting time” A very simple phase , which hit me like a lightening bolt.  I knew what this meant to the very depths of my bones and through every cell of my body.  I knew my life was destined to do something beyond what I had seen demonstrated within my family.  I simple didn’t know how or what.  I had felt up to this point of my life that my life was immobile, stagnate and full of fear about all the things I wasn’t, a helpless victim of my past.

 In that moment I woke up to a degree.  I sat there transfixed upon his words, my body rushing with energy and knew it was time to change my life.

Have you ever felt something big coming?

Similar to a storm and you didn’t quite know who you would be after the storm of if you would survive.

As the anxiety began to fill my body I knew in that moment I could no longer continue smoking my three packs of cigarettes a day and shooting drugs into my veins, I would die following this course of behavior.  I knew I had the willingness to change my life but the anxiety would not lessen.

I realized the fear wasn’t so much about giving up my addictions as it was about who would I be after all the crutches were released. I had developed a certain persona with a group of friends that have become my identity.  Who would I become without all the props of my past, my story, my friends and the things we valued.

In that moment I felt all the aspects of my personality shifting within me in a hurricane of change.

As I continued my internal metamorphosis Donovan began his concert.  By the end of the concert I had thrown away my cigarettes and ended my drug use.

When I returned home that night my internal world continued the integration until the next morning.

As I entered my house I went to the secret place I hide my drugs and my outfit of needles and syringes and bandages and flushed the remaining opium down the toilet, broke all my needles and syringes and went for a walk.

It was one of those rare southern Californian nights where we were experiencing rain.  I placed a coat on my shoulders and walked and walked until I couldn’t walk any longer with this Donovan’s voice in my heart and head saying you are wasting time, you are wasting time.

 

Somewhere within my ancient memory resonated a knowingness, a urgency to begin the Path to potentialize whoever I could be into that man of possibility.

I spent the rest of the evening on a hillside in the rain sobbing into my hands from the release of my addictions and the overwhelming fear of HOW I would create the change I knew had to occur.

 My life began again that night on that rain soaked canyon hillside over looking Mission Bay in San Diego.

I knew my life would have to be spiritually focused and create a contribution to others.  The only road to fulfillment I knew was how can I extend myself to others in a meaningful way and make a difference.

I felt everything I had become required to be left behind me.  My beliefs, who my friends were, what I did for recreation, my story of what had happened to me, my false sense of self.  I abandoned ALL my friendships and my dog became my only companion.

I required to create structure in my life from the chaos of emotions and thoughts that pervade a drug induced mind and body.     

I began seeking for a spiritual path that resonated with me.  I sought in the Christian traditions although beautiful, felt off center for me in this crucial junction of my life.

I explored Buddhism and knew I required more structure.

The Transcendental Meditation movement was very strong at this point in history and I was attracted to the discipline of the path and began to pursue initiation.

One night a friend informed me he knew of a drummer who followed a Living Master and meditated in the yoga of the Sound Current and was playing in a group down at a bar in Mission Beach. 

I had never heard of this Path of meditation before and curious I went to the club late the next night.

Having just turned eighteen I was unable to get in but waited in the parking lot at the back door till 2:00pm in the morning waiting for the bar to close.

Willie was his name, a physically short, long haired man with a glit in his eye came through the door.  As the garbage fumes from the alley way drifted through the air I said:

 ”hello, my name is Gary and I’ve been waiting for you to talk to you about the Master”

 

Willie was very cautious at first to verify I wasn’t some drugged up kid who thought it was cool to pretend spirituality.

After we spoke for about ½ hour he committed to loan a book which I had three days to return to him.

The next night I returned to the parking lot behind the bar and waited for Willie to emerge from the backdoor.

Willie walked through the door into to the parking lot to meet me with the book in hand.

As he handed me the book entitled  “Path of the Masters” he said in a low serious tone. ” this will be the most important book you will ever read.”

I devoured the book and knew as soon as the book was placed in my hands that this was the Path that would offer me the structure and discipline I required.

 

I jumped in.  I began reading as many books on the Yoga of the Sound Current and began an uninitiated meditational practice, turned vegetarian and celibate and devoted myself to turning my life into more than it had been in my previous life of drugs and victimization.

 

I went to my first Satsang or meeting of disciplines with mixed feelings.  It felt a bit like church and there was no one my age and certainly not from my background.  I felt out of place and awkward but forced myself to keep going back because these strangers were my only social contact I would allow myself at this point.

After about three months of meetings it was announced that the Master was taking a rare trip out of India and coming to America and Canada.

I had the opportunity to travel and follow the Masters tour from San Francisco to Los Angeles and in time was initiated into the Yoga of the Sound Current.

(More tomorrow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

Comments(0)

So, this is a story of the triumphs and tragedies of a family, a seeker, a man.  Many of you will have far greater story than I.  However, the depth of drama within the story is not the point.  Our ability to create a new definition of what has happened to us within our story is.  Many of us stay lost within the unresolved emotions of what we did or didn’t receive from our family systems, the beliefs we created from the events that happened to us, the unresolved emotions we harbor in our minds and bodies from our childhood experiences.  Many people, through their lives, live from the core wounds established in childhood, duplicating their family dynamics in their adult relationships and passing those wounds down to their children through their subconscious behaviors.

We demonstrate the subconscious wounds from our childhood to our children which our children model and turn those wounds into their operating strategies for life.  The wounds of the Fathers and the Mothers are then visited upon the sons and daughters.

This cycle will continue through the generations until one soul stands up and seeks the tools to redefine the family patterns and be the one to rise beyond the previous generations efforts for evolution and live life differently.

We have been born into a genealogical combination of both our fathers and mothers ancestral history.  Each generation standing on the shoulders of the previous generations evolutional efforts to love more, fear less and live from the better of their human potential.  Some in our ancestral linage failed miserably and some excelled to a fuller realization to create that better life for their children, loving more fearing less.  

The presupposition I am presenting is there is perfect order and purpose in LIFE down to how subatomic particles behave in relationship to one another.  Within the Quantum field there is no chaos only order (research to back this)

The question we require to ask ourselves is: if there is order and purpose at the subatomic level of particles and waves, the foundational elements of all things material, is there order and purpose to why I have born into a certain set of circumstances. 

Have you ever asked yourself the question why was I born into this family?

Why is my mother like she is? Why is my father like he is?

Why have I had to experience these things I have?

Why have I had to suffer?

Or said to yourself, “I don’t belong here. God made a mistake to make these people my parents.”

If there is order and purpose at the subatomic levels could there be order and purpose in the reason you have been born into the family system you were, had the experiences you have had and been exposed to the triumphs and tragedies of a man and woman who became parents and parented you out of the subconscious patterns of how they were parented.

 

Have you ever felt life has been unfair and fate cruel to have you live experiences you had little choice over as a child that have shaped your life and colored your future.

The principle question I have asked myself is “for what purpose does this serve”

Have you ever asked yourself the question: Out of all the trillions of possible genealogical possibilities I could have been born into, I was born through my father and my mother.

Asking yourself and seeking the answer to this one question holds within its chambers your hidden life purpose, and the path to a powerful and fulfilled life.     

 

I have spent a life time seeking the answers to how I can transform the patterns of my past, be accountable for my own reality and use my life to manage the quantum field of possibility so I create a life of fulfillment contribution and peace from the ashes of a broken family.

 The information contained within this blog has evolved over a lifetime history of searching for answers on how we create sustainable personal change.  How do we evolve our personalities? How do we come to perceive  what we call our reality? And how do we create change within ourselves that lasts.  My search has been a search for myself, to find a answer     to what happened to me within my own family and how I could lift myself out of my own personal hell.  I am the same as many people who experienced the greatest love and the greatest tragedy from the behaviors and wounds that my parents lived.  We have all grown into the identities we are in the emotional pool of our ancestors.  Our parents within the environment of their parents and their parents within theirs down through the generations until the family triumphs and tragedies come to a still point in our life expression.  The question is: do we continue the legacy of our ancestors through our actions, beliefs and valves or do we cull those inherited beliefs and values so we can turn our past into our greatest ally.  This book is written to awaken the curiosity of the reader of a larger picture.  A spiritual perspective of family, life purpose grace, order and share practical useable TOOLS to shift our personal tragedies to our greatest triumphs.  Contained within these pages are TOOLS which work.  Over my lifetime of seeking, these are the TOOLS which changed my life.  My desire is you take less time to discover these simple TOOLS than I did. 

 

The  TOOLS that are presented sustain personal change and potentialize the human condition.  They are TOOLS which awaken our capacity and birthright to affect our destiny by learning how we create our own reality.

It is presented so the reader can learn the power of the three principle components of creating, Language, emotion and imagination and how to begin the great unraveling of our story of the past.

The information contained within these pages places the TOOLS for conscious creating in your hands and opens the door for a life in the mastery of causation.   The information has evolved over my life from the traveling on many dark and lighted Paths.

Each of these Paths represents a jewel in the crown of my identity. Each seeming wrong turn, a light post pointing to another path to take and explore. Always feedback never failure.

  All the different roads being gently and sometimes not so gently led by One who unconditional loves me.   My work has evolved over a lifetime history of searching for answers on how do we create sustainable personal change. How we break the ancestral patterns that run us? How do we evolve our personalities? how do we come to perceive what we call our reality? How do we create change within ourselves which lasts?  My search has been a search for myself, to find a answer to what happened to me within my own family and how I could lift myself out of my own personal hell. 

I am the same as many people who experienced the greatest love and the greatest tragedy from the behaviors and wounds that my parents expressed toward me as a child.

I have come to understand and know that I created for myself the basis of my personality by interpreting my parents actions.  I give my environments the meaning I did, developing my beliefs, values and perception of the world.  When I accept I am the one who shaped myself and my reality I then have the power to change.

(More tomorrow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

Comments(0)

 

To excel into what is possible for each one us the first step is: to harness the understanding that we are responsible for our emotional responses and the meaning we ascribe to the events of our daily lives.

We are ascribing the meaning therefore the reality we will live.  We become either rigid or impossible, filled with reactivity, fear and anger or we become the most flexible person within the organizations and roles we find ourselves and therefore become the catalyst fro authenticity in those system.

Most of us are triggered in our current reality through stimulus that reactivates old emotional patterns that have been left unresolved and we exhibit a combination of reactivity and flexibility.  But we don’t know why certain circumstances, people, voice tones etc. will take us into our shadow reactions.  We are responding from our shadow reactivity rather from our choices through self awareness.

 

Our unconscious patterns remain out of consciousness and awareness and therefore unchangeable because we have not had the tools to shift our reactions to the past and create new responses.

 

In order for each of us to lead in our organizations, private business and our families we must obtain the ability to transform what has happened to us and what we made up about it.  We must become Self Aware and Self responsible.

 

Hence the First LAW to Leadership is: Self Awareness/Self Responsibility.  Ponder this one question. How have we become who we are?   How do we generate our reality and perceive through the lenses of our unique individual perspectives?  How do we produce our emotional states that drive or limit our behavior? And most importantly How do we create sustainable change so we can Transform our ability to spin out a different perspective of reality and how can we create it differently so we experience more love, fulfillment and contribution to our world around us.

 

 

For any of us to be successful personally and professionally we require powerful and trusting alliances within our relationships. 

The primary hierarchy of importance in our relationships is first the relationship to oneself.

The second is relationship to others and the third is relationship to a deeper purpose for which your life contributes back.  Your self defined Sense of Your Sacred.

 

Relationships with others are based upon our ability to effectively communicate and our communication is based upon the level of rapport we are capable of establishing.

 

One extraordinarily important principle for organizations and families to recognize is that each member of the organization or family affects the others and will enhance or contaminate the culture of the organization in which they belong.

 

A family or company is likened to a body where different cells perform different functions and when the body is healthy the cells are communicating and transferring data for the benefit of the organism they belong.

When cells become unhealthy they begin to contaminate the cells and systems within their sphere of influence and the disease spreads to other cells and systems until the organization, family or organism becomes ill.

If the unhealthy cells go unaddressed and the disease is allowed to spread through neglect then eventually the organization fails, the family becomes estranged and the organism dies.

  

According to the Heart Math Research Institute each individual emanates a resonate field of energy measurable by science, that effects other people fifteen feet around them.  This resonate field is created by the overall emotional states the person feels continually.

 

The health of your family or your company is based upon the collective thinking patterns of the members of it.  Each person affects the whole of the environment they dwell in whether it is home or office with their thoughts, the language that represents those thoughts, the emotions they produce and the behaviors that ensue as a consequence.

 

I was conducting a series of trainings for a prominent pharmaceutical company in California in their global safety department which consisted of approximately twenty highly skilled doctors and research scientist.

The VP of the department had contacted me and communicated that the culture within the department was sliding downhill fast, the staff was under tremendous pressure with long work hours and impossible deadlines and the extra stress of personality conflicts was the straw that would break the camel’s back. His primary concern was that he would begin losing his highly qualified staff he had worked so hard to recruit.

   

I arrived on the grounds of the company which was like a mini city in its entirety.  With walking paths, child care, gymnasium, pool and overlooking the Pacific Ocean:

A rather stunning place to work.

 

As I enter the training room and met the team I noticed one individual in the room who seemed defensive and withdraw before I even opened my mouth.  The team was cordial, alert, but reserved.  As I began the presentation this one individual would barely participate, distracted others and was in overall resistance to learning the communication tools I was presenting. 

 

Footnote about the Heart Math Instuite

Rather than leave a contaminating personality in the room with the other willing participates I firmly and respectfully asked him if he was desiring to be else where and that he was welcomed to leave and asked him to leave the training. 

With every organization I contract with I establish the permission to exercise this right.

 

As soon as this doctor left the training room the entire room took a collective breath simultaneously.  The energy of the room relaxed and I observed the tension leaving the bodies of the members of the team.  I stood there wondering could this one individual have this much influence on the stress levels and the growing negative culture of the department.

 

I simply had to ask one simply question: “ How are you all feeling now?”

Like a monsoon of information, each person shared their frustration with this individual.

He was recently recruited and was one of the medical heads of the department.  Each team member was required to interface with him at some point during their research and responsibilities.  

Story after story came forward about how difficult it was to accomplish the workload after his arrival and how the management could not see it.

 

Resentment had built toward the VP, communication lessened because of the resentment and the VP did not have enough information to take action. 

The remainder of the trainings went effectively and the culture shifted dramatically after the enactment of the communication tools were taken onboard by the team. 

The resistant doctor entered a coaching program with me through the request of the VP and the core experiences which drove his behavior were uncovered and resolved and he became a functional part of the team.  

 

People affect other people and each one of us has the responsibility to become fully matured in our relationship to ourselves therefore others by taking responsibility for our own emotional states, getting clarity and transformation about those shadow aspects of our reactions, having effective conversational and negotiation skills while ceasing the destructive positioning for power and the need to be right. 

 

We require to learn the art of focusing our intention by entering into our communication with a genuine desire to enrich our business and personal relationships with authentic conversations, in accountability for our emotional states.  Our accountability will create the flexibility to honor the diversity of other peoples perspectives so we achieve understanding about the differences with grace.

 

Hence the Second Law to Everything: Become Relationship Aware.

 

 

The Third Law is governed by something less apparent than the previous two laws but is the umbrella that the other two rest under and without the third law enlivened within us it will make the first two nearly impossible to enact.

 

We have each been gifted with a magnificent vehicle, the human form, with more neurological possibilities than there are grains of sand on all the beaches of our planet.  The one question we are being asked to answer is: what am I really here to do? What is my purpose?  Am I here to accumulate wealth, power, raise my children and grand children, all worthy causes and is there more? Did we each come with a specific purpose that only we can fulfill, a larger vision specific to ourselves? All our relationships and accomplishments are part of our purpose but is that our true soul’s mission or is there something more? What will bring me my deepest fulfillment?  Only you can answer this question for yourself.

 

I began my career working with as a volunteer developer of the Aids Holistic Response Program in San Diego Calif. years ago when the Aids epidemic first began in the United States.  I witnessed many people die during those early days of the crisis.  Some young some old and I learnt that at the end of our lives the one thing that creates a beautiful transition is whether or not we know that we accomplished what we came here to do or whether we fell short of it based upon our apathy or our fear.

   

 

It was not these individuals accumulation of wealth or how many family members where there loving them as they transitioned.  It was the knowingness of: I did what I came here to do?  It was a understanding in the deepest recesses of the body/mind/spirit connection that constituted this conclusion.

 

As I sat by the bedsides of those passing I witnessed that there was an innate knowing within each person that came from deep within them.  There was no denial at this time at the time of death.  There was no pretending to not know or the avoidance of the issues.

 

This time was absolute truth.  We transition as we have lived with no smoke or mirrors to keep hidden what which we did not have the courage to face.

It is at this time that all our actions and behaviors in our relationships surface to be witnessed as jewels in the crown of our identities of who we have been, or regrets that act as thorns within us.

It is a soul knowing, not an intellectual process.   

 

This is why when we conduct our lives both personally and professionally with a sense of our self defined spirituality, our core essence, this foundation will help guide us to perform our actions in our families and our businesses that are congruent to our deepest sense of purpose.  We create profound congruency when our thoughts words and actions are in alignment with our deepest held values.  We generate Personal such Personal Power that our self worth and respect from others grows in dynamic proportion to our ability to walk our talk, we become the leader we are destined to be.

 

We create deep imprints within our subconscious mind through this alignment and our Self Worth exponentially increases so we create peace, financial wellbeing and fulfillment in our now and throughout our life.  

Hence the Third Law of a Fulfilling Life: Become Spiritually Aware: Increase your Self defined sense to your Sacred.

 

The first Law gives us the ability to unravel the mystery of what we have become through our childhood imprints and the ancestry we were born to.

The second Law defines that it is within our relationships we demonstrate the relationship with ourselves and the future imprints we create within our subconscious minds will be in direct portion to how we treat one another.

The third Law establishes that each one of us came here to fulfill a purpose that is greater than our attachments to people and things.  True fulfillment will be in how

We live from the foundation of our values moment by moment, how we demonstrate those values in our work and home life and the relationship we strengthen and live with our individual sense of the  Sacred.

 

All any of us have desired is to live a life fulfilled, to be loved and loving and be acknowledged for the unique individuals we are.  At the end of the day the thing we take with us is how we affected the people around us and how we expressed our contributions back to the individuals in the environments we lived in, our families and our organizations.

Did we lead a fulfilling life and transition with a blessing on our lips rather than regrets about what we didn’t have the courage to accomplish or the relationships we could not heal or the behaviors we regret doing.

 

This book is about one mans journey within himself and around the world to answer the question for himself:  How do I live a fulfilling life?  How do I change what has happened to me? How do I heal and function gracefully in the myriad complexities of my relationships? And How do I live with a deep sense of connection to a force greater than myself? It is a story of a journey, and a gathering of the necessary TOOLS to accomplish the journey in fulfillment, grace and joy and become the leader I was destined to become.   

 

To begin, I desire to present the content in three sections with several sub-chapters.  The principle three sections to The Three Laws to Leadership are:  

1 st Law = Self Awareness

2 nd Law  = People Intelligence

3 rd Law = Spiritual Awareness

 

 Each section will share practical useable TOOLS to enhance and transform our personal core imprints that formed the foundation of our characters, tools for sustaining long lasting change, tools for mastering our communication in our relationships and tools for strengthening the connection to our purpose and our individual sense of what is sacred to each one of us. 

Contained within these pages are a lifetime of seeking the tools for change within the laboratory of myself.  My desire is for you to take less time to discover these simple TOOLS than I did. 

 

The information contained within this section places the TOOLS for harnessing the power of the latent 90% of your subconscious mind within you and opening the door for a life in the mastery of causation and fulfillment.   The information within these pages has evolved over my life after following many dark and lighted Paths, each Path a jewel in the crown of my identity, each seeming wrong turn a light post pointing another way.  All being gently and sometimes not so gently, led by One governing principle which is to evolve myself to a greater ability to transform resistance into fluidity, fear into love and rigidity into flexibility.

 

  My work has evolved over a lifetime history of searching for answers on how do we create sustainable personal change.  How do we evolve our personalities? How do we come to perceive what we call our reality? How do we create change within ourselves which lasts?

 My search has been a search for myself, to find an answer to what happened to me within my own family system and how these imprints affected my adult life, my relationships, my businesses and my peace of mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

Comments(1)

My purpose for writing this blog was not to write another blog on how to make things happen but a guide to bring us into the age of causation.  A time when we as individuals embrace the concept we are accountable for our life and creators of our destiny.

 

 

 

To share experiences and very simple processes to create and sustain our focus on the above thoughts so we create more heaven than hell and create a positive influence on the world around us.

This information concerns the power of our language, how our emotions and our imagination affects what and how we experience our life.  This book is meant to shake up the paradigm which we have been living from, and it will show you a completely different way to approach your life. 

 

Through the years of my career I have worked with thousands of individuals around the world as a Corporate consultant, trainer and coach.  I have utilized the tools of Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology to create change at the deep structure of my clients personality rather than coach for accountability of my clients. The methods presented makes it possible to combine standard coaching models and the endless array of techniques inherent in HNLP so individuals can achieve the fulfillment in their lives, organizations and families they seek and deserve. 

 

Humanistic Neuro Linguistic Psychology is literally the owners manual fro your mind.  Humanism is a belief that each person is infinite possibility and potential.  Neuro refers to the science of how our nervous system receives millions of bits of data input from the external world and deletes, distorts and generalizes that data into our awareness consciously.

Linguistics stands for the language we utilize to symbolize our thinking patterns and experiences and how our language shapes our reality.

Psychology refers to how the data is received and meaning given to it, language wrapped around our experiences and the patterns of behaviors that develop over time that become our unconscious strategies for our lives and relationships.

   

As I progressed in my career and experience, I begin to hold the principle that in order for an individual to function optimally whether they are a parent, spouse, CEO or family member we all require leadership skills.  We all belong to some form of an organization and generally we all will belong to a large array of different organizational structures requiring us to participate in different roles in our family systems to our business systems.

 

Seventy-five members of the Stanford University School of Business Advisory Council unanimously agreed that the most essential ingredient for the development of true leadership was “SELF AWARENESS.”

Self Awareness requires self exploration whether we are a member of a fortune 500 company, building the culture of the organization or a new mom who desires only the best influence for her child.  The greater self awareness the greater of a leader is born out of the quest to understand oneself.

 

To begin, we require to understand where we are and what is possible for each and every one of us.  We require to have a working knowledge of HOW we became who we are, our unique personalities with our individual beliefs, sets of values, perceptions and attitudes.

When we can understand how something works we can fix it, modify it and improve it.

It is almost like programming a VCR or tuning up a car.  If you have an owners manual, or an instruction manual you can make adjustments that will bring you the desired results.

Without an owners manual we generally remain a little lost in how to modify our task at hand to get what we desire. 

 

The primary knowledge that every person on the planet requires to have is the fundamental understanding of HOW to operate their perception of reality to create more heaven than hell with maximum fulfillment. 

 

The questions we require to ask ourselves are HOW are We Doing it? How can we do It differently?  How can I fulfill my destiny and purpose and obtain fulfillment? The understanding of these simply questions is the purpose of this book.

 

We have resting underneath our craniums the most powerful computer on the planet capable of operating millions of functions simultaneously.  We utilize approximately 10% of our potential consciously with the other 90% latent at the subconscious.

If 90 % of who we are rests at the subconscious level it only makes sense that if we are to effect change within ourselves, our organizations and families we would require to know how to effect that change at the subconscious level within ourselves first. 

 

Now the subconscious mind is a very interesting part of every one of us and is likened to an infinitely powerful reality generator which is operating all the time.

To potentialize our success and our fulfillment do you think that it would be useful to learn more about your subconscious mind?

As you continue to delve into the content of the following chapters you will discover many sections filled with the operating instructions to harness this power within you.

 

As I worked with individuals and organizations throughout the world there is a reoccurring theme which lays at the foundation of why they have sought consulting or coaching.  A underlining river of issues that stops people from creating fulfilling and functional relationships, establishing rewarding careers, and most importantly growing in compassion and regard for themselves.

 

This river of unresolved impressions that halts possibility is the culmination of what each one of us has experienced, what we made up about those experiences and how we continue to out-picture our beliefs and perspectives and project them onto our partners at home and in the office.

 

Our childhood experiences: the triumphs and tragedies of all we experienced while growing up are the foundational blueprint of what we have built our personality upon and what at a subconscious level guides our emotional landscape and governs our behaviors. 

 

We were born into a specific genealogical line, the combination of both our fathers and mothers issues colliding into one household and creating a environment which would help form the you that you became.  The ecology in which we found ourselves as children was made from the complex emotional environment handed down through the generations and culminated in the personalities of our mothers and fathers which they carried from their childhood. 

This combination became the laboratory where we constructed our model of our world.   Some of what we made up and modeled from our parents will be the best of who we are and some of what we modeled will cut at the very root of our life fulfillment and our ability to have emotional freedom from over-responding emotional states and inflexible perceptions. 

 

Every person I have worked with for the last twenty five years, from top level executives in billion dollar corporations to students in massage school, have at the root of their life issue these sacred wounds from their mother and father as the underlining reason their life becomes out of balance, relationships become unmanageable and self worthies unstable or plummets altogether. 

 

Life consistently desires to express itself and evolve itself.  What we have un-healed and out of balance within ourselves manifests in the dynamics of our professional and personal relationships.  As we believe so it is and how we think and what we dwell upon we increase within our current experience.  In our perceptions our teams at work strangely remind us of our family dynamics, or our life partners become strangely similar to either our Father or Mother or both at a subconscious level.  All we know is that we feel the old fear again, shame again or anger again.  We can only experience our current reality through the filters of our past culminate experiences, so if our past has unresolved emotions linked to it, if our past relationships remain unresolved and painful, we will carry more of a reactive perspective to how we deal with the dynamics of our families or the relationships in our professional organizations in which we belong. 

 

Many people as a consequence to the never ending feelings that seem unmanageable enter into hopelessness and depression or strategize their lives positioning for power to secure a false sense of personal safety.  As this occurs individuals ultimately do not achieve the fulfillment for which they seek or resolve the internal dynamics of their emotions.  Our current personal and professional relationships reflect our experiences in our family systems often times resulting in feeling frozen by reoccurring emotional states where little control is experienced.  We can only see our current reality through the filters of our past collective experience.  More about that later.     

 

Many of us have achieved a certain level of success without delving into this latent storehouse of potential within each and every one of us. What would our lives be like if we could harness this latent power house within us to transform our relationship with ourselves and our personal and professional relationships as well.  How would our lives change? How much more could we create and how much more fulfillment could we achieve through our life’s journey.

What positive effect would our own personal change have upon our families, upon our children who are subconsciously modeling your behaviors or the teams at work that you effect on a daily basis.

We are living in the emotional pool of what has been left unaddressed at a subconscious level from our childhood on, which distorts our perspectives, creates emotional states that can be difficult to manage and attracts experiences to us that evoke our deepest wounds.

 

Many individuals enter their adult relationships seeking relief from their internal lack of love only to be re-wounded by how they perceive the circumstances and events of their lives.  This re-wounding occurs throughout organizations were people spend eight to ten hours, five to six days a week locked into their subconscious filters of how they see their world with a host of other people who believe their set of experiences are the true measure of reality as well, all coming together to accomplish the work load.

 

Over and over again as I have enter departments of different organizations I have experienced highly qualified people in their fields faltering under the pressure of  not being able to resolve the personality conflicts, and suffer under the  inflexible perceptions of the people they require to work with.

 

A Family or organization can only be as effective as the individuals that comprise it.  Individuals first and foremost must learn the fundamentals of how to operate their own mind, emotions, past references and grow in our maturity to master the complex issues that face our family diversity and organizational diversity.

 

Diversity here is not limited to racial, gender or sexual but to perceptional as well.  There requires to be birthed a new respect for the diversity of different individual experiences and perspectives so we can objectively see the world through another’s eyes.  This ability helps us gain understanding and compassion while developing ourselves into the most flexible person within the systems we find ourselves.  When we practice perceptual flexibility we become the one who can see options, therefore effect change in the frozen opinions between people. 

 

My own life has been filled with this dynamic personally walking through the mine fields of what people will make up from what you communicated or did.  As I continued to sit in observation of this principle being played out with my clients, knowing that their perceptions are birthed from their past, I consistently asked myself:  can people have choice over what has happened to them and can they really change how they hold the past in their minds now so their past becomes a ally for their future?

Can we as human beings change the circumstances that molded and hardened our characters so these events that have shaped each one of us can become a cheering section for our future?

Can we distill the wisdom and shift the distortion of how we interpreted these events, the constellation of beliefs that formed around these events and shift what we attract to us now in our current circumstances?

Can couples in a family or Directors in an organization free themselves enough from overwhelming emotional responses to see through another’s eyes and choose their responses to effect clarity and enrichment  in their relationships?

Can we learn to build our relationships rather than erect barricades and defenses or attack to preserve our positions?

Is change sustainable?

 

Events are empty unto themselves, the meaning we ascribe to them will either increase our inflexibility or increase our leadership power to perform the play.  Unless we practice perceptual flexibility our inflexible perspectives and the evidences that we are right, will tighten around us through time so that we eventually only see a small portion of the possibilities in the quantum field of possible outcomes available to us.

 

(more tomorrow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

 

Comments(1)

Change

Future Sourcing

 

 

Step 1

Imagine going out into your future to a time when this problem is healed and the learning has been integrated, and imagine traveling out into your future to the perfect time that this issue has become a deep wisdom and let me know when you arrive at that future time in your imagination.

 

Step 2

Now that you understand the wisdom of that past experience in the process of your evolution, notice an image of yourself back at now desiring the understanding that you now know in the future.

As you look back at now what is the wisdom you desire to share with your now self that would make all the difference.

( Write down the wisdom for the client)

 

Step 3

If this wisdom was a color what color would represent it best? If this wisdom could be represented by a symbol what symbol would represent it best?  

(Write down the color and the symbol)

 

Step 4

Imagine flowing the color and the symbol back to the image of yourself at now and infusing that image with the wisdom of your future self until every cell of that image of your now self is filled with the color and symbol of your future self’s wisdom.

 

Step 5

Now, imagine flowing this wisdom of your future self back in time to the earliest time that this wisdom would be beneficial and imagine your past being infused with the wisdom of your future self in just the right way in order to provide you with the foundation to be all you deserve and are destined to become.

 

Step 6

Imagine coming back from the future and merging into your transformed self at now and notice what use to be a problem has transformed into a gift.

 

Step 7

Future pace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary De Rodriguez

 

 

Comments(0)